From the author: A world turned inside out. Let no one who does not know Freud’s teachings enter here.*... If you peer at a woman’s breast for a long time, you begin to notice that the woman’s breast is also peering at you.**... They say that men are divided into those who like blondes and those who like brunettes, those who like skinny ones and those who like plump ones, those who prefer obedient ones and those who prefer wayward ones... And those who like big breasts.... FREUD WOMAN Next , leaving a hint of the shameful and so familiar sexism in our area, let’s imagine for a moment that Freud was a woman... and try to think about what theory of the structure of the human psyche he would have created. For convenience, we will call her Frida. So, if Grandfather Freud had been a grandmother... or had died in childhood, or the old Austrian woman had chosen the path of national isolation, or the soul destined for our doctor had, by strange chance, dived into a woman’s body... The theory created by Dr. Frieda would have been significantly different from phallocentric psychoanalysis. I dare to suggest that its center will be the Female Breast... although the phallus is clearly not sad on the side. If in the familiar universe of Dr. Freud we imagined the phallus everywhere, then here we will see a marvelous naked breast... and it is unlikely that men will be so stubborn as to prefer their own penis to it. The obsessive desire of men to climb high mountains that unconsciously remind them of women’s breasts, and the custom of building cities on hilltops will become natural and understandable. It will immediately become clear that the ancient builders of the pyramids followed the shape of the female breast... and it is natural that the pharaoh buried in it acquires immortality by crouching eternally against it. A good way to pass the time. The same breast is imitated by the domes of churches and the rounded vaults of palaces... while their number, greatly exceeding the number two, symbolizes the feeding force of power in all its sacred superiority. And finally, the theory of a round Earth, born of male fantasy... that is, again, an unconscious attempt to give it the appearance of a rounded female breast. These madnesses are alien to a woman; she accepts the world as it is. Only men are a little unlucky here... THE MEN'S LOSER From an early age, Dr. Frida felt that there was something wrong with men. Over time, after spending many years in constant analysis and work with patients, she managed to formulate and know the truth. A man is a woman without breasts. The main motive that shapes a man’s psyche is the absence of breasts, or rather, their obvious and criminal incompleteness, the inability to ripen and be filled with juice. Throughout his young years, the man waits for everything to get better... but alas. Therefore he feels inferior. With barely concealed envy, the boy looks at the invitingly swollen breasts of his peers... and over the years he feels more and more deceived, empty and unworthy of living. Growing up, that is, the transformation of a Boy into a Husband, is an endlessly bitter moment when our hero realizes that he is doomed forever. But instead of coming to terms with the inevitable and recognizing the superiority of women... He displaces his desire from his consciousness. This is how the unconscious is formed, into which it subsequently represses other things that are so unpleasant for pride. Women, unlike men, do not have the unconscious. She doesn't need unconsciousness because she has full breasts. Due to this circumstance, she is perfectly aware of everything and surpasses men in intelligence. That is why he hides a lot from them. However, no matter how hard a wise woman tries to spare the feelings of men, always pretending to be an obedient fool, they still continue to do two things. Feel inferior and strive for breasts. Millions of men travel to distant countries, climb high mountains, cross seas and oceans... but everything they need lies nearby, at arm's length. But they are not looking for easy ways. That's why our world has become like this... THE NATURE OF THINGS A man, feeling his inability to grow full breasts, tries to grow an artificial world all his life. He calls it culture, civilization. A world designed to replacemissing breasts. A woman does not need civilization. She has everything. Therefore, women will not waste time on these male nonsense. Fight for power, create scientific theories, write philosophical treatises and argue about the properties of things, the will of the gods and the routes of the stars. A man is doomed to do this. It takes him years and millions of words to understand and pull out from the unconscious what is revealed to a woman at first sight. But the woman wisely does not interfere with his rough games. A man, feeling his own inferiority and not daring to realize it, converts self-hatred into anger towards others, into war, into the desire for murder and risky travel to the ends of the world. At the same time, he secretly dreams that, as a reward for all the atrocities committed, he will find the Breast... the Holy Grail of knights, the America of sailors, the Heavenly Jerusalem of pilgrims, monks and Templars. And yet, men have created the cult of the Ideal Man. This is a guy who has all the advantages of women - that is, breasts. Wisdom and kindness, insight and the ability to stroke people's hearts. Many of them reject real female breasts, preferring to strive for the imaginary breasts of the Ideal Guy. They call it religion - reunification, forgetting what exactly they want to reunite with. Sometimes, trying to hide the true object of their passion, they replace it with their own phallus, a pitiful and imperfect semblance of a woman’s breast. They make him the center of the universe and dance around him. They don’t remember where to get real breasts... TWO LOGICS So, before us are two worlds - and two incompatible ways of life. And as a result, two ways of thinking and two logics. Male logic is the logic of inferiority and struggle, and Female logic is the logic of fulfillment and quiet love. At the same time, only the second one can reconcile them. Male logic is a product of sublimation of feelings of inferiority, designed to hide from men the very fact of the absence of breasts. And also, as a secondary benefit, to instill in them the illusion of superiority over the woman. That's why a man is so proud of his logic. He is more proud than his own member, with which he identifies himself all the time. Even more than with your new car, with which... well, you already understand. The worst insult you can give a man is to say that there is no logic in his words. In words, in behavior or thoughts. Hearing this, the man explodes, trying to prove the opposite at any cost. To deprive him of logic is the same as castrating... that is, to draw his attention to the absence of full breasts. Meanwhile, a woman, being called illogical, will not react in any way. She has everything she needs, that is, normal breasts. So, the obsessive desire to prove and fight with you for power is alien to her. Men's logic is the logic of exclusion, the logic of inexorable war. All ethics and philosophy of men are built around the Buridan's Donkey complex - that is, around the obsessive need to make a choice. The choice between the left and right breasts, interpreted as a choice between Good and Evil. Either you are right or you are wrong. This is the law of the male world. But... a woman has two breasts, and both of them are full. So she doesn't have to choose between the two. She takes both, and she doesn’t care where you get it or how you pay. Stop shoving your psychoanalysis in her face... Better... listen to her, and do as she says. Better yet, try to guess for yourself. You still won’t be able to, but at least you’ll have an interesting time, and it’s really worth it. Try to make peace with the world... NOTES * Let no one who does not know geometry enter here - according to legend, this is what the inscription above the entrance to the monastery of ancient philosophers said. That is, if you don’t know it and still go in, you will either not understand anything or you will understand it wrong. ** If you peer into the abyss for a long time, you begin to notice that the abyss is peering into you - one of the most famous sayings of Friedrich Nietzsche... NOTES FOR SPECIALISTS 1. Frida - literally translated, free. The author is not responsible for her crazy fantasies and does not share them in any way. 2. Freud was a man, at least in our world.…