A question that many women ask themselves. Is he the one? Am I happy enough with him? In this article I will try to help women understand whether you are in a good relationship with your partner. There is one clear and important criterion - this is your condition next to a man. Of all the variety of experiences that you can feel in a relationship with a man, there are three typical states. The first is “generally good.” This is such a general background state. There are good days and there are bad days. But overall everything is good. The second is “generally bad.” Somewhere there are bright good moments, but overall it’s bad in these relationships. The third option is a bright, emotional swing. Sometimes it’s super wonderful, sometimes it’s terrible. In order to make the right choice, you choose a man with whom you generally feel good! This is a comprehensive assessment of your relationship and your condition next to this man. You can say, for example: “In general, I feel good with him, but socially he does not satisfy me. He earns less than me, we go to a restaurant worse than I could go to myself.” Then the question arises. If you are generally good in your relationship, then most likely the status of places and some kind of social prestige is not in the first place for you. Otherwise, you wouldn’t say that overall you feel good with this man. If social is important to you, and he has no social success. The same applies, for example, to his involvement in you, his feelings for you. You can say: “well, this is good for me, but he doesn’t love me.” If you don’t feel a response from a man, enough attention, warmth, and so on, you won’t feel good with him. The same goes for sex, there is bodily compatibility. Okay, you can't confuse it with anything. And by this criterion you can choose. This will be a good relationship. Where can there be a trap? The trap can be hidden in self-deception. When you adjust your well-being to the desired result, and say: “well, overall I feel good,” although you don’t feel good. Why do women (girls) do this? Because there is a strong fear of being in the search for brides on the market. And then the woman says (they say it inside themselves, consciously or unconsciously): “anyone is better.” “Better any one” than some dating site again. And here there can be a serious trap. In practice this happens quite often. When a woman inside herself, somewhere consciously, somewhere unconsciously, adjusts this good assessment. In order not to come into contact with the horror of searching again. If you have a similar situation, I will disappoint you and say the following. Until you learn to enjoy flirting and meeting men, you are unlikely to be able to make a good choice of a man and build a long-term, warm relationship. Because these things are connected. How? Many women and girls say: “I don’t like to search, I don’t like to meet people.” I want to get into a relationship right away, when we are already a couple and working on development. If you look from the point of view of depth psychology, such girls say that “I want to be in a dyadic relationship.” There are dyadic relationships and there are triadic relationships. What is a dyadic relationship? This is a merging relationship, a relationship with the mother, that is, when the baby is born. His first relationships are dyadic. He perceives that there is “I” and “not I”, that is, the whole world around him, in other words, mother. Nothing more fits into his perception, his psyche. There is “I” and “not I”, only two – that’s all. And so we interact in this way, and having been in dyadic relationships enough, the psyche gradually matures to move into triadic relationships. Where there is “I”, mom, and something else appears - dad, other relatives, mom has some other hobbies besides me: worries, work, dad, etc. Feel the difference. Such relationships are much more complicated. Triple relationships are more complex; they require more resources and greater maturity from the psyche. In such relationships, more complex feelings arise. When a girl has the desire “I don’t want to get acquainted, I want to get straight into a relationship.” This is from a deep psychoanalytic position.