From the author: 5 tips before going to a child psychologist. Yes, really - what's the point? Already, we went twice... or even three! And what? - money down the drain!... I won’t even list how many times you come across this phrase when it comes to psychological consultation in a company or if in a dispute on a forum someone timidly says - maybe see a psychologist? , or a teacher at school will advise the child to show a psychologist.... And most often, it sounds from parents who “didn’t get results” - - Yes, for that kind of money, the child should be like silk! And he got even worse!!! And you know, over time, almost every psychologist stops entering into discussions, stops asking questions: “How many times have you been to a psychologist? Who was in therapy? What did you do at home? What kind of support group was there?...”, because . they sound like an attempt to justify themselves for what should have happened...i.e. -nothing will happen....Therefore, dear parents, starting classes with a psychologist is not buying “magic pills”, because you have been “feeding” your child “pills” for much longer - what was fed was what happened. Not a single one, not even The most “magical” or “fashionable” psychologist will not correct either the child or the situation in the family in 1, 2, or 3 sessions! But on the third, usually, parents directly “feel” that everything is already good and enough! And now to the main thing. A small reminder for you, dear parents. Especially for those who are deciding whether to go for a “miracle” or to go for the result???1. Try to be smart. Set yourself up before starting to work with a psychologist - all inappropriate behavior or all problems will not change instantly. Tune in to gradual changes. Indeed, you can immediately notice that changes have occurred for the better, but this does not mean that the child will not disrupt these changes. It takes time to consolidate each skill. Remember what you tried to learn - knitting, working with a drill... - did it happen right away? So why do you think that a child will immediately learn to control anger, manage time, and make friends with peers? The skill takes time and consolidation. 2. See his strengths step by step. Coming to a psychologist is the starting point for change. Learn to notice the best things that happen in your child. Don’t irritably search for what the psychologist didn’t correct? Only you know your child's strengths and weaknesses like no one else. Don't look for what else has become weaker. Find what has become even stronger. Believe me, the child will be grateful to you from a simple kind phrase: “I see that you remember about the report, you talked about it.” , and not the usual: “Well, when will you start your report? Everything is at the last minute?!” If you know about the report (which will seem, at first, insignificant) - this is already your child’s strong point - he did not hide it in order to “forget” the report, but told you, which means he took responsibility. The main thing is to notice the changes and be happy for them ! 3. Achieving a goal is work! Why, at the first meeting, the psychologist always asks the question: - Is the family ready to join therapy? Because in any work, the support of the team is important. Working together towards a short-term goal every day will provide perspective on a long-term skill. But no one can work at 100 all the time. Both you and your child may have breakdowns. And this does not mean that the psychologist is bad. This means that you have done a lot, worked with dedication, but now you need a pause - this is normal. At such moments, you want to end everything - this is a trick of our brain to return to its usual “comfort” zone - both for you and for the child. Be patient! You have done a lot. That's what you and your family are for, to support each other! 4. Don’t grab all the goals at once! When you see changes in your child, it seems to you that you need to speed up the process in order to accomplish everything! After all, everything goes so well, so easy! But we forget point 1 - the skill must be fixed - otherwise there is no point in your child’s work. And if a psychologist told you that you need to work again on... - this does not mean that he.