From the author: The article is written on the basis of Vedic psychology. Laws of the Universe in the relationship between a Man and a Woman by Slesareva. D.A. The sacrament of conceiving a child There are laws according to which this or that living creature comes . Birth is not accidental. First, we must invite a person, know who we want. The key point is who we want, the image is what kind of person we call. First, the image of a son (daughter) entered the husband’s mind, then the wife transferred this image to her heart - this is conception. The image is there – the personality is called. The main thing in conception is consciousness. The child absorbs every word, the mood of the father and mother, and is raised in the womb. Embryos are living beings endowed with consciousness. Children are born from our consciousness. Parents are responsible for their offspring. Our children should be a little better than us - this is the progress of society and civilization. Relationships between a Man and a Woman (Qualities of a Great Personality) A man who can control feelings becomes a Great Personality. Qualities of a Great Personality: 1. Determination. Knows the purpose of life. Male determination 2. Courage - fearlessness 3. Generosity Criteria for Greatness in a woman: Learn 5 roles: 1. Wife. The wife is what controls her husband's mind. Reminds us of the purpose of life, moves us forward, promotes it. A wife awakens the mind, a woman awakens feelings. By communicating with your wife, your mind is supported, which contributes to progress. 2. Caring mother. When a man fails to show a flexible mind, support 3. Obedient daughter 4. Satisfied as a sister. Doesn't require anything more. The sister is happy with any attention from her brother. 5. Mistress. Today it is important to strengthen the roles of mother, daughter, sister, because... weakened, then families will become stronger. A woman, first of all, should be a wife, not a mother, because... mother and lover are incompatible roles. A wife can penetrate her husband’s mind, awaken his masculine qualities - fearlessness, determination, generosity. All culture is in the relationship between a man and a woman. The solution is to create good marriages, to gradually restore the institution of marriage. The secret of harmony in life The secret of harmony is non-attachment, which gives freedom, freedom harmonizes. There will always be problems. We may not notice them. Harmony in non-attachment in this world. You need to worry, but not for long. Don't idealize life. Live in such a way as not to notice the problem, to do this, become attached to something higher. Greed, jealousy and women's happiness in the family... Jealousy is a strong attachment. Attachment destroys relationships. Many women do not get married because they want to get married (on a subtle level, they show greed*). *We need to look at what marriage is for a woman. What is happiness in the family for a woman - she must kill greed in herself and begin to develop such qualities of character that will bring happiness to another person. She must be obedient, take care, learn to cook not for herself, but for someone else, etc. . Then the woman attracts the Man because he is on a subtle plane, he feels the power coming from her to share something (love, care, attention...). A man and a woman need to see the best in each other, and not just the flaws. After all, the union of two souls occurs in heaven. A man and a woman meet not of their own free will, but by the will of God. If all people remember this, then there will be no unhappy people in family life. Everything that they do not do for each other will be for joy and good. A woman's happiness A woman is made of love. A woman should love everyone, give herself to everyone. If any woman begins to behave like a woman, to generate the energy of love in herself, to give more and more, a queue of men forms and she chooses. To do this you just need to become a Woman. If a woman has ceased to be stingy in love, this means she will become happy in love, this is the law. All a woman’s selfishness is aimed at receiving love. Stinginess, greed in a love relationship - a woman is born with this. The purpose of a woman's life is to make love pure, for this you need to give. Iftune in and overcome your stinginess in love, external and internal beauty will begin to come out. Everything will be beautiful on its own. Beauty is inherent in a woman from birth, for this you need to find yourself as a woman and immediately beauty will come out and begin to actively develop in life. This will give harmony in relationships with all people. A woman is a person of relationships. A woman is one whose relationships are very developed. A woman means that everyone loves her. What should a woman get rid of in order to become happy? When a woman goes about her business, she should think that she is not doing this for herself, but for her husband, for the family as a whole. She must conquer pride, greed, envy, sinfulness, and vanity. If she can do this, then surely she can work intelligently and do everything honestly. Thus, she becomes absolutely happy. Also, the wife must understand, not only understand, but also accept the special circumstances in which the husband finds himself. It is the wife who must accept, not the husband. Let's say there are wives of sailors, wives of military men, etc. A wife always accepts her husband's special circumstances. If she accepts them, she becomes happy. If she doesn't accept them, she becomes unhappy. How can a woman accept such circumstances that her husband goes sailing, for example, for six months; then comes back, lives with her for a while, and then goes to sea again? How can the wife of a military man, with whom she travels from one place to another, accept the circumstances until he retires? How can she accept these circumstances? These circumstances are accepted in this way: the wife must know the laws according to which the female body differs from the male. Since a woman is a static principle, and a man is dynamic. If, by fate, a woman is destined to be with a military man, she becomes the wife of a military man, but she herself does not become a military man. In the same way, if by fate she is destined to be with a sailor, then she herself does not become a sailor, she becomes the wife of a sailor, and, in principle, experiences all the difficulties of sea life together with her husband, since he swims, and she worries about him. The fate of a woman is a static principle, not a dynamic one. Let's say that if she drank in a past life, then being born a woman, she does not have to drink herself, she gets a drunkard as her husband, and as a result of this she suffers. Thus, a woman should not blame the man too much. If he himself drank in a past life, then in this life he will still have to swallow this fate, but the wife should not blame her husband too much for his shortcomings. Why? Because his manifested shortcomings mean her shortcomings that are not manifested. That is, in a woman you can see not many shortcomings, in a man there are many more of them, because he is an active principle, he acts. Let's take this case, for example. One of the children is making a house, and the rest are watching. We can see that the one who makes the house shows all his shortcomings, he can be criticized. Using this example, a distinction can be made between male and female natures. A woman, even when acting actively, does not show her shortcomings too much, because her activities very much depend on the circumstances. When circumstances don't work out, she won't do something; when circumstances work out, she will. And a man’s nature is active, he overcomes difficulties. Overcoming difficulties, a man shows all his positive and negative qualities. Thus, a woman must understand the difference in nature and circumstances in her husband's life. The conditions in which her husband lives mean for her her own destiny, that is, her own good and bad deeds in the past. And the last quality of a woman is truthfulness. Truthfulness in a woman, first of all, lies in the fact that a woman tends to be truthful, she tends to be simple-minded, and therefore she tends to be honest with others, with a loved one. It is she who maintains these elevated relationships in the family, because a woman, by virtue of hersimplicity, very truthful towards her husband. In general, it is very difficult for a woman to be untruthful, because female nature is such that if a woman hides something, deceives, she will be in a very bad mood. This will affect her life, she will always feel dissatisfied until she explains everything to her husband as it is. Thus, a woman, by being truthful, inspires her husband to also be truthful with her. But if a woman hides something from her husband, she undoubtedly encourages him to act secretly too. A woman always motivates! It may seem that she doesn’t do anything special - take care of the children, stay at home... A man “does” much more. If suddenly a man begins to deceive everyone, becomes secretive, this means that his wife is also not behaving very cleanly with him. That is, you need to understand that a woman encourages something. For example, a wife treats her husband very honestly and tells him about all her problems and shortcomings; about how she thought badly of him so that he would forgive her, etc. When she does this, he undoubtedly sees that this is a very good person. He would never deceive her. Nobility manifests itself only when a woman puts strength into it. Ignorance manifests itself in the same way. Let's say a man has both of these qualities, and depending on how much power is put into him, he will behave accordingly. For example, if a woman is cunning and behaves ignoblely, a man may not notice this in a woman, because she is a more subtle creature. She acts very secretly, unnoticeably. But at the same time he himself will begin to behave badly. He will begin to deceive, hide, etc., but he will notice behind himself. Thus, contradictions will arise, since the woman will also notice this in the man, and more than in herself. As a result of this, conflicts will begin, the man will lose faith in his purity, in his strength, in his responsibility, determination and will lose his masculine qualities. With the loss of masculine qualities, a woman will stop treating him well and will begin to consider him an unworthy person. She will stop serving him and showing all signs of female piety, because all of them are in one way or another connected with fulfilling duties to her husband. This includes piety, chastity, good attitude towards the husband’s relatives, help in fulfilling his duty, etc. All this will be destroyed only as a result of the fact that she will consider him an unworthy person. So there is an important principle to understand. When a woman behaves truthfully, she commands him with her strength, internal, not external. That is, she does not stomp her foot. Simply by being truthful, she commands him to treat her honestly. So, undoubtedly, a man will not be able to treat differently, because that is the nature of men. A woman dictates relationships in the family - this is the principle of family relationships. If a woman, this force, energy, acts in a certain way, then the family is preserved. A man is a force outside the family, that is, he acts outside the family, he rests in the family. Family relationships for him are a source of pleasure, while for a woman it is a way of existence and self-improvement. This is how they differ from each other. Let’s say that for a woman, the external environment as a way of existence is rest. She may have some nice job, where she relaxes. She laughs there, jokes with her friends, acts carefree and smiles at everyone, that is, she behaves at work in accordance with her nature. She likes to do this, but this is not the meaning of life for her, this is not the main thing for her. Therefore, it is not difficult for her to forgive everyone at work, it is not difficult for her to smile at everyone, because for her this is not the main thing. She doesn't care much if there are any problems there, she can change one job to another without problems, at least faster than a man. For men it's the opposite. For a man, home is a game. This is a vacation. He comes home, smiles at everyone, jokes. If the wife cries, hecalms down. But when he goes to work, he becomes very serious, and if something does not work out for him, he experiences great suffering. That is, a woman must understand the characteristics of a man. Its main feature is that it will act mainly outside the family. If the family falls apart on its own, it will be very difficult for a man to support it, because it is not his nature to do this. Thus, if the family falls apart, women should make maximum efforts to preserve it. Although, in principle, men should also make every effort to do this. But the question is who will be better able to save the family. Vedic psychology says that if a wife is not devoted to her husband, then it will be very, very difficult for the husband to save the family, because the wife stabilizes the family with her devotion. That is, the wife must be devoted to her husband. He must also be devoted to his wife, and if she is devoted to him, he automatically becomes devoted to her. Thus, women need to understand that they are the main force that stabilizes the family and prevents it from falling apart. It sets a certain mood in the family. Let's say that before marriage a man can look after a woman, he manifests himself as her protector, intercessor, and helps her in life. But the woman was not inspired by such a man and did not marry him. This means that gradually the man will lose his nobility. He won't continue to treat her with such respect and protect her. He will not continue to seem like a hero to her, he will not try to be successful in life. He will simply give up and begin to degrade. In this example, we see that if a woman chooses a worthy husband and treats him as worthy, the man experiences great inspiration and begins to change everything in his life. In this case, he sees that he has a good wife, and he will try with all his might to save the family, even if it is very difficult to save it. Where does the destruction of a family begin? We see that the trigger for the destruction of family relationships is that a woman considers her husband not serious enough, not a worthy enough person. This is where it all begins. She doesn't really want to serve him, and she doesn't have much interest in treating him with respect. She believes that she was unlucky in some way in life, “could have gotten married better”; and as a result of this, everything in the family gradually begins to collapse. So, you need to understand all these things about a woman and a man. Having understood all this, you can easily, without difficulty achieve success in family life. Because woman and man have opposite qualities; a woman is a minus, a negative charge, static; a man is a plus, a dynamic charge. They are naturally attracted to each other and have natural differences in family responsibilities. A man's responsibilities are directly opposite to those of a woman and vice versa. As a result, a woman naturally wants to do things that a man cannot do. For this, he respects her very much, and she respects him for what he wants to do. A man wants to do something external. She thinks: “Oh, I’d better sit at home in these cases, not meddle in these matters.” It’s easier for her to deal with, say, domestic subtleties, about which a man thinks: “I could never do this. For me, cooking something so tasty is an impossible task. I’m not capable of all these things - sewing on buttons, figuring things out.” in the intricacies of relationships between children, who is right and who is wrong, I can only say “you will be punished” or I may not say.” PRINCIPLES OF FAMILY LIFE: In order to achieve great success in life, in family relationships, the following five principles must be observed: Enthusiasm. It is the ability to fulfill one's responsibilities with joy. This is only possible if there is some serious goal in the family. Vedic psychology says that enthusiasm comes from the force to which a person becomes attached in his mind. Purpose means connection withsomething. Let's say we become attached to some goal that brings us happiness. People, for example, believe in God, or engage in self-awareness. If there is some very serious goal in the family, it brings happiness. If the goal is not serious, then it only brings problems. Therefore, when people set a serious goal, they naturally become enthusiastic about achieving it, because by connecting with this goal, they receive the power of happiness from it. Thus, enthusiasm is the first necessity in life. Enthusiasm brightens up all problems in the family and makes it possible for people to live with each other, even if they do not have sufficient compatibility or do not understand each other well in some matters. Faith. People who get married must completely trust each other in everything. There must be faith that your loved one is inclined to sacrifice himself for you; that he is faithful to you. If there is such faith, then there is an opportunity to act honestly, openly, directly - life will not become political, indirect, dry. Patience in joint relationships. Patience means understanding that you cannot change a person in one second, and in general it is very difficult to change him. Therefore, if you have connected your life with this person, then you need to make some concessions. In this case, patience means concessions - giving a person the opportunity to make mistakes. Act according to the rules. You must choose the laws according to which the family lives and strictly follow them. Depending on your outlook on life, you may accept Muslim, Christian principles and so on. Acting on these principles is the basis for success. Sometimes there are disagreements between a husband and wife, but if they believe in some rules, build their lives on the basis of some principles, then they can find the answer to their questions in one scripture or another. In this case, all disagreements are resolved simply, without any problems. It is only necessary that the scriptures be shared in the family. The family must also refuse to communicate with degraded individuals who bring great concern to family life. What prevents a woman from being under the financial protection of her husband? Fear? No, not fear. Selfishness? Pride? ... You won't believe it right away. A woman is hindered by greed! Greed. Why does a woman try to earn more than her husband? Why is a woman trying to provide for her life? There is only one reason, she wants more than he can give her. That's it, there is no other reason. If a woman accepts the life that her husband gives her, and she agrees to live on the money that he can earn, let her have less clothes and something else, but he will become stronger, more responsible and stronger every year , and more reliable. And a responsible man is a reliable man. A responsible man does not quit. He stays close. In Vedic psychology, it is believed that if a woman does not put a man in such a state - absolute dependence on her decisions and her actions, then he does not develop. Because he is a man. His psyche is structured in such a way that he develops only in extreme living conditions. Now, if everything depends on him, the wife won’t give anything, bribes from her are smooth, i.e. she works today, doesn't work tomorrow, she's relaxed. A woman should be relaxed in life, she should be happy and relaxed. She says we have enough with you, it’s okay. He says: “go to work.” She says: "I can't." And it falls on his neck, I can only work a little, but not much, I have children, I need to cook, my husband will be hungry if I work, so I want to serve my family, my husband, and work a little , a little, a little, or not work at all. He says, okay, let's live as best we can. He begins to strain, to try, and begins to take responsibility in life. But he's nervous. Getting stronger. How long will it be enough? Don’t worry, the man has a lot of strength for this. A man doesn’t have enough strength, let’s say if you relax him, then he won’t have enough strength. Just an idea, what is it? If the wife is goodearns money, a man doesn’t need to earn money, he immediately relaxes, lies on the sofa, says: “I’ll get a job when there’s a suitable job, but I haven’t found a suitable one yet.” Why does he say that? Because there is money in the apartment, everything is fine. A man, he acts only in extreme situations, he needs an extreme situation so that he goes to work where he does not like, where he can simply earn money, just to earn money. He needs an extreme situation, for this the woman must be relaxed! If a woman is not relaxed, she runs, jumps, earns money, this means that the man will be relaxed. In the family, someone should be relaxed, alone. It is impossible for two people to be relaxed. Because if a man sees a woman tense up, he immediately relaxes, right there. A man should relax at home and stress at work. But if a woman is stressed at work, she has to relax at home. Why? Because this is how the male psyche works. A man will not make a hard life for himself. He needs someone to arrange it for him. In fact, this is not a hard life for a man, this is the right life. Because when a man gives himself at work, comes home to rest, he is in good shape, all his functions work normally. Even conceiving children for a man does not work as it should if he relaxes at home and takes his work poorly and not seriously. A man will not even be able to conceive a healthy child. He, of course, considers himself a very important person, very impotant, but tests show something else. Tests show that “Veri is impotent.” So don't make your husband unhappy, give him the opportunity to be a man. I’ll just give you some important points so that you understand what we’re talking about. If a man sleeps on something hard, he becomes fitter, fitter, stronger and fitter. If he is doused with cold water, he becomes stronger and healthier. If a man eats more rough food than a woman, he becomes stronger and healthier. If he eats less sweets, he becomes stronger, healthier, and smarter. If a man lives actively, works actively, he becomes healthier and stronger. And everything is the other way around for a woman. If a woman works very hard somewhere, in the external environment, she loses her strength and health, and her psyche becomes upset. If she sleeps on something hard, the same thing happens. If she is doused with too cold water, the same thing happens. If she eats little sweets*, she also suffers from this and gets sick. It's the other way around. A woman should lead a happy, calm, relaxed life, a man should lead an active, busy, cheerful life. And therefore such a man will be in great demand in life, a woman will love and appreciate him! (A favorable time for consuming sweet foods is considered to be the first half of the day, from 6 to 10 am). HOW TO SAVE FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS? Old Slavonic psychology says that true knowledge is distinguished by the fact that it is very difficult to listen to. It is very difficult to listen to him, because real knowledge encourages a person to change. Life is given to a person for improvement, including the improvement of relationships. How to save a relationship? According to ancient Vedic texts, there are only two ingredients, or components, of love. These components are attention and selflessness. The first quality is more developed in women, the second – in men, and this is the main problem. Everything would be fine, but the problem is that both men and women often tend to abuse these qualities. Let's look at why. The fact is that a woman’s nature is to show attention, care, and focus on one person. It is more common for men to show selflessness in relationships with women. A man says: “I love a woman!”, “I love women!” Those. he seems to be declaring that he treats women favorably. To all women, but not to one. Giving full attention to one - the only one - is a difficult task for him. The same applies to women. She states, “I have my full attention on my husband!Complete! Since we’ve been together it’s been complete.” After 10 years, it becomes even more complete: where he put the newspaper, where he left his glasses and forgot his slippers (“I told you not to put slippers there!”). Where he takes off his shoes, where he puts the spoons and where he takes the cup - everything should be under female control. Full attention. This is Love? Does not look like it. It would also be nice to have a favorable attitude. If a woman is convinced that if a man is favorable to her, then he will certainly become an excellent husband for her, in this case, she is mistaken. It is very easy for a man to treat a woman well and be a gentleman: smile, give compliments. But it’s hard to stop one day and stop giving compliments left and right to all women, and only to one. It is not difficult for a man to treat a woman favorably, but it is difficult for him to concentrate on one. A man strives to interact and enjoy himself with as many women as possible. And so the education of a man is to concentrate the mind on one woman. This is his asceticism, asceticism, his duty. In the nature of a woman, on the contrary: for her, the ability to concentrate is not a problem. Full attention comes easily to a woman, but she must ensure that she maintains a favorable attitude over the years. But this very much depends on how the man treats her. Two principles, two ingredients in a relationship - attention and benevolence - must balance each other. Both participants in the relationship must demonstrate these qualities: women need to show more goodwill towards the man, and men should try to give all their attention to one single woman. So, these are the two main qualities necessary to maintain relationships between people, a man and a woman. And the only form of preserving relationships is the development of these qualities on both sides. Men need to learn to control their mind, their desires, develop the ability to concentrate, and women need to develop tolerance and trust in their partner, the ability to see the good in a person in various life situations, even when he does very bad things. Without goodwill towards a man, a woman's affection for him becomes poison for the relationship. If a woman says: “I myself…” she is preparing herself for loneliness. No matter how successful a woman is, her main purpose is to be herself. To be a Woman. A real woman does not know what the “I myself” principle is. There is always a man next to her, ready to take care of her. “We are together” - that’s what she says to the man who is next to her. Because the purpose of any couple is to raise each other’s level. Harmonious development of both men and women in relationships. Not competition. Or criticism and constant reproaches against the other “half” in order to push the husband to action. With the “I myself” principle, a woman can only push a man away from her. If you really know and can do everything yourself, then why do you need someone in your life? You can help a man reveal himself and become more successful only with the help of Femininity. And this includes a kind word, a hot dinner, harmonious sexual relationships, and the ability to listen and support without words. So the next time you want to say the sacramental phrase “I myself,” stop, smile at the man and say: you know, I realized that the most important thing is that you are nearby. And we love each other. The River of a Woman's Life Every person has such a concept as the “river of life” - this is the force of psychic energy that flows inside us. It can be dry or deep, wide or narrow, depending on what direction of life we ​​have chosen. The river of life for a woman is personal relationships. In her youth, this river for her is her relationship with her parents. This relationship is extremely important to her. The most important thing is to learn to respect your parents and try not to notice their shortcomings. Once a young girl achieves such inner ability, she gives upyour first exam of fate. Because her parents begin to mentally bless their daughter and consider her a good person. As a result of these blessings, she gains inner strength and stability. Her psyche becomes calm and able to resist the charms of a man. If a woman is not protected by her parents, she begins to feel loneliness acutely. She will not be able to choose anyone for herself, and then the man will choose her himself. In fact, she must choose (choose in spirit). A woman is the number two person in the family, but she chooses this role for herself. You can't force it to exploit it. This happens with the help of the husband's authority. Also, a woman has the right to get from her husband what she wants, but by winning his heart, and not through demands and scandal. TEACH A MAN TO LOVE A WOMAN...A woman must teach a man to love herself (a woman). There is great wisdom in this. A woman basically waits for a man to start loving her the way she needs. But wisdom says that a woman must teach a man to love herself. And this must be done in the following way: You need to understand one thing, that a man’s psyche is much rougher than a woman’s and often he even wants to please his wife, but does not know how. This is the difference between a man and a woman. A woman knows very well how to make her feel good, but she doesn’t talk about it, and that’s where her delusion lies. She should hint to her husband how to make her feel good. It shouldn't be something intrusive. On the contrary, if she forces him: “Buy me red roses!” He will buy, but she will not receive happiness from this, because this is already violence. How should you hint? One option: “Do you think I like pink roses or red ones, huh?” He says: “Red”, she coquettishly nods her head and leaves. Or she stops in a store near a beautiful dress, looking at him. He comes up and says: “What, did you like the dress?” She looks at him and then moves on. Then they walk around the next circle, she again stops near this dress. He says, “What, did you really like the dress?” It goes further in the third circle :)) That is. a woman must use certain gestures and concepts to explain to a man how she can be made happy. This is the science. And when she does this, she has this picture that a woman always has: this prince on a white horse, that a husband should be like this, and if he is not like this, then he is a fool... (That is, this is the wrong philosophy , which always gives rise to suffering.) If he is not like that yet, then he needs to be made like that. This requires a little effort in the right style. To do this, you don’t need to terrorize him: “Why are you kissing me like that?!” To do this, you just need to do it very tactfully and competently in relationships. Those. When a wife educates her husband in this regard - how to treat himself - he becomes very happy from this, because he finally begins to understand what is required of him in general, in life. This is the idea. Who is in the center: husband or child? When a new family is created, newlyweds are the most important people in each other’s lives. They think about each other, are interested in each other, serve each other. The world belongs to them and it seems that it will always be so. And finally, when their child is born, literally everything in their life changes. There is no time for my husband anymore, he walks around gloomy and angry and constantly reproaches that they don’t devote time to him, they don’t cook for him, everything is neglected at home and one day you can break your leg on some thrown thing, your wife smells bad, and her clothes smell bad. , to put it mildly, leaves much to be desired. In turn, he is presented with complaints that he does not help with the child - he does not bathe, does not walk, does not play, that he is not in a hurry home from work, “And in general, what kind of bath could there be on Thursday with friends!?” A continuous series of reproaches and quarrels ensues, from which the man begins to take refuge somewhere outside the house, somewhere where his family is not. The problem is born from incorrectly set priorities, because now that the child was born, the mother put himto the family center. But his small, fragile shoulders cannot bear such a colossal load. To be in the center means to lead, to indicate the path and direction in which the family should move. Being in the center means setting tasks and completing them, being responsible for all family members and helping them develop. No one argues that children teach us many things and raise us well, but for them it is too serious a task to be the center of the family. And in the end, everyone suffers - and the father, because his male ego cannot play second roles, for him it is humiliating, and the mother, for whom family happiness is a source of inspiration and peace, and the child, who needs a strong loving family, and not constant scandals about who will take care of it now and where dad went last night. The child comes into a family, into an atmosphere of love and cooperation. It is important for him that his parents create a harmonious union and be an integral family. And for this, parents themselves must understand their relationships and learn to set priorities correctly. In any case, until 18 months, a child needs only a mother. It is up to this age that he does not perceive anyone other than his mother - neither his father, nor his grandmother, nor a very good nanny. And no matter how much you would like someone to carry your child in their arms and nurse it, it is still the mother who will do this best of all. Therefore, you need to tune in to this from the beginning, avoiding selfish clashes with loved ones. Although, of course, the time when children are small is not easy. It happens that you don’t even have time to comb your hair. What can be done to make the husband feel that he is still the head of the family, and has not become just a tool for making money and fulfilling desires? — Try to meet your husband when he comes home from work. It is not difficult to get up, no matter what you are doing, and go to the opening door. Mood plays an important role here. It’s more pleasant to see that you are welcome, and not to exhale in disappointment: “Ahh... It’s you...”; — a hot dinner will come in handy. Of course, when there is a small child in the house, you don’t always have time to prepare something complicated for lunch or dinner, but the most important thing is how you do it. If you say: “There is something left in the pan - look,” then it will, to put it mildly, not be very pleasant to hear. It will feel like he is eating leftovers from his wife and child, and there may or may not be something left for him, or maybe not. But if you say: “I prepared pasta for you,” then, undoubtedly, it will sound much more respectful than the above-mentioned phrase, although pasta is a completely simple dish, the main thing is to present it personally. Still, when something is done “for you,” it helps you feel needed and desired; - time for two. Finding time to sit together and talk about something personal is very difficult, but with a great desire, it is still possible. After putting your child to bed, you can spend at least half an hour alone with each other. Share some innermost thoughts, ask how the day went and what are your plans for tomorrow. This is a very important ritual that will help the husband and wife not to move away from each other, but to be aware of what is happening with your loved one, what he is thinking about, what plans he is making. Of course, the temptation to go to bed immediately after your child is very great, but it is better to sacrifice a small portion of your sleep for the sake of rapprochement than to start living as complete strangers and bring the relationship to the point of no return; - give the opportunity to relax after work. Naturally, it seems to each of us that it is we who do the greatest amount of work, which cannot be compared with the meager amount that our spouse does. This, alas, is not a position of love, not a position of service. Every person needs at least a little rest after a hard day. Handing over the child right from the doorstep and shouting: “Well, finally!” - this is not the best option. The man will be very grateful for the little rest that you give him; - walks with the whole family. Walks like these bring people together and helpfeel family unity. In general, evening walks are very useful for married couples, especially near a river or some body of water. During such walks, it’s nice to talk about something, discuss something important; - time for yourself. This is a very important time because... it gives you the opportunity to rest at least a little and make up for losses during a long, exhausting day. You can at least just lie in the bath alone or go to the nearest store. This will help to somehow unwind and relieve tension; - think not only about yourself. Life with a small child is not an easy challenge. Nerves sometimes run high. The body is exhausted, and the psyche is reaching its limit and it seems that no one in this family suffers as much as you. But if you stop concentrating on your own suffering and think more about other family members, then it will become much easier, because in this situation the child also suffers, because he either has a stomach ache, or is tormented by hunger, or something else (birth in itself is much harder than death), and his husband, who is now left to the mercy of fate, is fed with whatever he can find, and is also constantly yelled at and direct an endless stream of meaningless claims at him. Raising a child is not easy, but he will grow up in any case, but maintaining a family, and even learning to develop a relationship with a spouse, is much more difficult. Family relationships are a complex but interesting science that will have to be mastered by all those who do not want to have a collection of husbands or wives in their lives, and live in a completely confused patchwork family, of which there are more and more now. A child needs both parents - both dad and mom. He himself chose this woman and this man as his parents. And our task is to learn in this situation to live according to the laws of love and fidelity, which I sincerely wish for you! Family relationships (difference between the sexes of men and women) For example, the psychology of a woman: her emotions and reason function simultaneously. Therefore, problems and contradictions accumulate in the mind, you need to talk it out. She is looking for an opportunity for her husband to understand her, but it is difficult for a man to participate in long emotional discussions. Therefore, he puts forward the decision to his wife and leaves. Then she thinks that he doesn’t need her, i.e. this is considered an insult. The husband must find the time and desire to listen to all these emotions and problems of his wife, just without a solution. She doesn't need a solution, she needs a refuge. Her decision is her husband. For example, a man’s mind and feelings work alternately, either the mind or the feelings. If the mind wakes up, then feelings are eliminated and do not interfere. The mind can work, perform duties as in war, endure wounds, whatever you want, feelings do not interfere. But if the senses awaken, then the mind is eliminated. A man falls into such a state that he forgets about reason, begins to have fun, runs after every “skirt,” and begins to drink uncontrollably. Such a nuisance to society, men. Therefore, next to her is a woman who has both reason and feelings together, nothing is eliminated from her, but works on the principle of rapid fluctuation, at the same time, so she understands everything more broadly, but cannot make a decision. Therefore, they will still come to him for a solution. And she can awaken in him either feelings or reason. A woman is powerful in this regard. She can simply arouse his feelings, then the mind will be eliminated. When he needs to go to work, she will set him up for work, when he needs to rest, she will set him up to rest. She runs his life, but for now he loves her, as long as she is attractive to him. If she loses attraction and he cools down, he does not allow her to interfere with this control system. He rejects her. Then divorce, for this reason. Therefore, women now try their best to be attractive, because otherwise they will not be able to manage family affairs. You need to have an appearance, but appearance alone is not enough. Do not strive to be lovers all the time, this very quickly depletes the relationship, burns it out. Lust is like throwing fuel into a fire, it flares up, and then it burns out and there is nothing left. Those. you won't haveso much strength to constantly satisfy lust, it is unsatisfactory. So there are different roles that we talked about. The varied life we ​​talked about, filled with intelligence and meaning. This is already the way. This is already the way of life, you can live together all your life. Although the body may age, there are higher values. Those. higher values ​​must be found. This is the meaning of relationships. What are the tasks of a man?1. Have a high goal in life, lead your family to God.2. Be generous.3. Be fearless. 5 qualities that every wife should have1. She must be a wife to her husband. The wife reminds her husband of his goals and objectives. Her duty is purity and harmony in relationships, maintaining good relations with all relatives.2. She must be the Mother. When a husband experiences failures or a difficult period, do not reproach him, but give him love and care, support him.3. Be his Sister. The sister accepts her brother with all his shortcomings. This is the same as being a Friend. Satisfied with any gifts and appreciates any attention4. To be his Daughter. When he is irritated, angry, do not swear or fight with him, take the humble position of the Daughter. The anger will go away immediately. But usually modern women begin to almost fight, and in the end they have what they have - destroyed families, broken hearts.5. Be his Lover. That is, constantly renew relationships. Love has not yet begun, falling in love has gone. Love in 7 stages: 1. Marshmallow-chocolate phase or “chemistry of love” (lasts approximately 18 months). When a man and a woman meet and fall in love with each other, their bodies produce certain hormones, that paint the world in bright colors. At this moment the voice seems incomparable, any stupidity seems amazing. The person is in a state of drug intoxication. During this period, you should not make any decisions, since the effect of this drug will eventually end and everything will return to normal. 2. The next phase, which necessarily comes after the first, when the feelings are pacified, is the satiety phase. 3. The third phase is called disgust. It is mandatory for any long-term relationship. During the disgust phase, quarrels begin, as if you were given a magnifying glass and you concentrate on the shortcomings that your partner has. The easiest and worst way out of this is divorce. What's wrong? This is when you again enter the “marshmallow-chocolate” phase with another partner. There are people who only revolve around these three phases. In Vedic psychology, these phases are considered a level below a civilized person, since you have not yet entered into a real relationship. 4. The next phase is patience. Quarrels between partners continue, but they are not as fatal as in the previous period, so both know that when the quarrel is over, the relationship will be restored again. If we put effort into developing patience, we are rewarded with the development of intelligence. This is the law of nature. So in this phase we are given intelligence. 5. The fifth phase - the phase of duty, or respect - is the first stage of love. Before this, there was no love yet. I begin to think not that he owes me, but that I owe him. Focusing on our responsibilities develops us. 6. The sixth phase is friendship. Friendship is a serious preparation for love. 7. The seventh phase is love. Love is not a cheap thing. They go to her all their lives. Love is learned through various life situations, and in long-term, close relationships. Love is not something that suddenly falls on our heads; we mature for love, abandoning selfishness within ourselves. Do we choose our parents? No, we love those we got. Do we choose brothers and sisters? No, we must love those whom God sent us. The only one we choose is our husband or wife. Then the children come to us. Do we choose them? No, we love those whom God sent us, then the children bring their daughters-in-law or grooms. Do we choose them? No, we need to endure and love those whom God sent us, expand our hearts and appreciate those who are next to us..