Each of us came into this world to bring something special into it. Each of us has a unique gift, an exceptional natural ability that we can offer to the world using our individuality. But, unfortunately, many in the process of growing up cease to show their naturalness and uniqueness and begin to try to meet other people's expectations. They begin to compete and compare themselves with other people. Very often, while still children, such people heard from their parents: “Look how Masha behaves from the second entrance! It wouldn’t hurt you, too, to learn to behave just as quietly!”, “Vitka’s children help their parents around the house, and ours...”, “The Tarasovs from the second floor have a son who is an excellent student, and you...” Having become accustomed to hearing such comparisons since childhood, Such people, growing up, begin to compare themselves with other people: “Look, Mishka from the next door already drives a BMW, and I’m in mine...”, “But Katka from a parallel class is already the director of a large company, and I’m still in I run around with my assistants...” Such people are more concerned about what others have achieved that they could not achieve. Instead of searching for their talent, they often look for reasons for what is wrong with them, engage in criticism and self-deprecation. Self-hatred gradually spreads to everything. This can manifest itself as aversion to one’s own body, one’s successes and failures, one’s weaknesses and habits, and sometimes one’s imperfections in general. All this can be accompanied by similar expressions: “I’m not worthy to live,” “I’m worthless,” “I’m a disgusting person,” “I’m nothing but trouble.” Such a stream of negative thoughts and statements about oneself, of course, over time leads to a state of despondency and apathy. Suicidal intentions also often appear, most likely signaling that the person is in a state of depression. In the minds of such people, as a rule, there is a very clear vision of their ideal image - what they wanted or should be in their minds, as opposed to who they really are. This discrepancy is the basis of the internal conflict, which gradually turns to self-denial. Thus, often the pursuit of an ephemeral standard leads a person to self-hatred and depressive mental disorders. How can you stop this flow of negative thoughts and beliefs about yourself? How to stop hating yourself? As I already wrote at the beginning of this article, self-hatred begins with the habit of comparing oneself with other people. Gradually killing his own individuality, not recognizing himself as a unique person, a person begins to repeat in relation to himself the same behavior that was dictated by his parents in early childhood, and sometimes even in his youth. He begins to treat himself in the same way as his parents treated him, often justifying this position with care and the need for the educational process. Explaining to himself that it is simply impossible to behave differently, sometimes even “the more severe and derogatory the accusations, the more sense it will be.” And now I propose to take a short excursion into our inner world. Within each of us there are different parts of the psyche. This is the “inner child” - a part of us that is characterized by creativity, spontaneity, and lightness. There is also an inner adult, who is characterized by an active and responsible position. There is also an inner parent - a part of us that was formed in accordance with, or, one might say, according to the template of our parents. So, if your parents behaved too strictly towards you and criticized you a lot, then your inner parent will behave in the same way. He will be constantly dissatisfied with you, just as your parents were always dissatisfied with you. He will always look for mistakes and find fault with your imperfections at the slightest provocation, and sometimes even without it. It is working with the inner parent that can help you get rid of the inner,.