From the author: Cheating is a blow. Always sudden and painful. If you had to deal with this, then I really sympathize with you. And as a psychologist, as well as a person who had to face this face to face, I want to tell you: there is life after betrayal! But what it is like depends on you, and that’s all! Many of those who are accustomed to blaming themselves immediately begin to believe that “I am so bad, that’s why they did this to me. Is it really so bad that I had to be betrayed like that?!” I would like to immediately insert a remark here: betrayal is always a choice! And, if it is not made in your favor, then is it worth being with a person who does not value you?! Perhaps your partner doesn’t even know how to appreciate what he has. I didn’t learn (but did I want to?). Or maybe he will never learn this... I’ll tell you that it also happens that your partner once made a mistake in choosing you as his wife (lover). Don’t be outraged right away, accept it as a fact. This is also not your fault, but just his (her) unconscious choice. Which means it’s his mistake, your partner’s. Yes, you are suffering now. And why should you suffer for his mistake?! Let's think... Maybe because he (herself) was in captivity of illusions: this is exactly the person you need... or maybe because he (herself) didn’t know who you needed... and he didn’t know either... And so two of them - not knowing who is needed - enter into a relationship, create a family. And then one of them comes to the understanding that the one who is nearby now is not at all the one I need!... Who is to blame?! Nobody. It just happened that way. Is it possible to blame another for something that you yourself are guilty of... “...Once upon a time I didn’t know who I was? How to live, what I need... And now I know. And in order to start my conscious life, I have to hurt someone. Do I want to hurt you? No. Only now I have a choice: continue to make you happy or become happy myself. Sorry, I choose myself! Of course, this does not mean that cheating is committed only for this reason. I just want to say that there is such a reason. What should we do now? How to live? And now to live without him. Learn to live without him. Without the one who was once dear, loved and the best person for you. The main thing here is that he was! Yes, he was in your life. Yes, there are a lot of things with him connected. A lot of emotions, moments, memories...Now they can’t be taken away. They are yours until the end of your days. You can’t cut them out, you can’t erase them with an eraser, you can’t put them away... And somewhere nearby now there is pain... hatred... anger... suffering... And they have the right to be! Let them be: allow yourself to get angry, cry, cry, scream, cheer, just be weak... If you hide them somewhere, close them, push them out, they will still make themselves known, but LATER. When it seems to you that you don’t remember this anymore, you want to become happy, BUT they won’t let you. They will begin to eat away your soul inside. And you will continue to do this outside, destroying your own life and the lives of your loved ones. There are too many sad cases when the betrayal of a loved one destroys not only the family, BUT also the life of the person who was cheated on. How sorry I am for these people who were never able to experience this event in their lives constructively. Those who were knocked down, but did not have enough strength and desire to get up and live again. Why ruin yourself?! This can be dealt with. Through pain, through fear...for yourself! When a wound hurts, it needs to be washed to make it better. Also in the shower: “rinse”, clean (preferably together with a specialist) and the wound will heal. Yes, the scar will remain, BUT it will not cause pain. Only memories that you need to take care of yourself, take care of yourself, love yourself! How can I help myself cope with the situation? Take a "time out". Give your soul time to heal. Any cold goes away. Even the soul. And then immunity appears. Just don’t fall into “eternal torment”; it’s better to set yourself a time frame. It is difficult, but possible. Take advantage of the support of friends, girlfriends, loved ones, a psychologist - anyone who can give it to you. While there is mental weakness, do not be left alone. Discard ideas about revenge or “falling to!