Unfortunately, such cases occur quite often. For many women, assault in marriage is perceived as the norm. Most of these women, as girls, saw their fathers physically abuse their wives. Therefore, as adults, even if they find themselves in a situation dangerous to their health or even life, such women remain for a long time in relationships where they experience physical violence. Because they think that it’s still safe for them, they just don’t have any other experience, they didn’t have it any other way. This is the main reason why a woman remains in a marriage in which she is subjected to physical violence from a tyrant husband. She is simply even more afraid that after leaving the relationship she will find herself in a completely unfamiliar environment. And the usual life with a tyrant has its own sequence and pattern, which is familiar to a woman; she knows perfectly well what will happen and when. If you remove a tyrant husband from a woman’s life and replace her with a decent man, then she will find herself in a relationship of a different model, completely unfamiliar to her , and this makes it frightening, because it is not known what will happen, what and when to expect in this relationship. Very rarely, women who had fathers who raised a hand against their mother build relationships with men who are different from their fathers. Rather, it happens that women are unconsciously always drawn to men who are capable of physical violence. Unfortunately, women are to some extent satisfied with such a marriage, because often after violence, the man apologizes. “My husband is not bad when he’s sober. But I understand him, he has a very difficult fate; besides, I'm probably doing something wrong too.” The above example of physical and mental abuse in marriage is one of many. But in each of these cases it is important to understand individually. And yet, dear, lovely women, you should not deceive yourself and believe that after an apology the man will not do this, that he will change, that he will turn from a tyrant into a loving husband who will care and will not offend you. The relationships described above are called codependent. If you have the desire and work with it, you can radically change your entire life, as well as the lives of your children, who are also influenced by the situation. The main thing is to understand and realize that these relationships are not healthy, they always negatively affect both the life of a woman and the life of the present and future, her children. Sincerely, Your psychotherapist, coach, specialist in interpersonal relationships, Natalya Akhmedova