Since you are here, it means there is a situation in your life that you cannot let go of. That same unclosed gestalt that destroys your psyche and prevents you from moving on. But before moving on to practical recommendations, let's figure out what a gestalt is, and why it must be closed? An unclosed gestalt is a situation that has not been brought to its logical conclusion, an unsatisfied need. The human brain always strives to finish what it started, that’s how it works. In any task or situation, the brain needs to receive a signal of completion; if it fails, that same unfinished gestalt arises. Today we’ll talk about the unclosed gestalt in a relationship with an ex-wife or girlfriend. If your relationship has already ended (by mutual consent, or on the initiative of one of the parties), and the wormhole of doubts, regrets, emotions still returns you to the past over and over again, you need to use the technique of self-closing the gestalt that I offer. Why is this important? :Until you let go of the old, you will not be able to move on. In other words, you simply will not have room for new relationships, neither morally nor emotionally. You will not see opportunities for building new relationships. You will not be able to objectively perceive a new passion without slipping into comparisons with the previous one. And the most difficult thing is that you will transfer all the situations of the old relationship to the new one. And this is the path to nowhere. What to do to close the gestalt? The first thing you need to do is clearly formulate your desire. What do you want? To get your ex back, or to forget? It is extremely important to be completely honest with yourself. Turn off emotions and grievances, find a balance between your emotional and physical state. Come to your senses after a breakup mentally and physically. So, let's talk about how to close the gestalt once and for all and put an end to the relationship. Forget and start a new life - open up to new relationships .The decision has been made, you want to start a new life. But memories keep bringing your thoughts back to the past. Where is she now? What is he doing? Who is he dating? Does she miss or forget about you? And you (sometimes almost unconsciously) open her social networks, monitor her and look closely at the photos and try to read between the lines. STOP. Gestalt closing rule: accept and let go of the past. Live your relationship within yourself. From the very beginning to the very end. Remember the good and the bad, what offended and what made you happy, remember the point of no return (it definitely existed). That day when the thought flashed through your mind that something was wrong. Let her go. At first you will have to force yourself, do not look, do not check, do not find out about her from your mutual friends. Conduct a monologue with yourself. Convince yourself of the uselessness of constantly returning to the past. Use the “What next?” technique: Unwind the situation within yourself to the end. You are watching her life, perhaps you met at a common event, had a little too much alcohol, made peace, woke up in the morning and... The euphoria of reconciliation will pass very quickly, but mutual reproaches, insults and misunderstandings will remain, because it’s not just that you separated? If she left you on her own, then the amount of alcohol she drank made her return. If you left, what changed? What are your principles and beliefs? Most likely not, and you just couldn’t cope with the habit of being near her. The secret of closing the gestalt on your own is simple: remember why you need this? Our brain is designed to spend less energy on suffering. And after parting, strive to calm down by any means. And the easiest way, not energy-consuming, is to return everything back. But you realized that you don’t need this! You have made the decision to move on. Take into account the mistakes of the past and open up to new, more adult, more conscious relationships. Think about it, convince yourself that you are right. Increase your self-esteem and importance. Pitfalls: The less we love a woman... It often happens that a serious decision on one side entails frenzied enthusiasm on the other. IN)