is given to the one who asks. Do you believe in this? I believe. And if I don’t have it yet, then I either can’t ask or I can’t accept. It would seem that it would be easier to ask. Little children ask. They understand that only Another can help them get what they need. How does he ask? Crying. It cannot be otherwise. But parents are irritated by crying, and soon the child begins to think that he is doing something wrong. He still needs help. He was not taught to ask adequately. And he begins to experiment: act up, manipulate, play “clairvoyant” - you should have guessed it! With age, the situation changes little. We may suffer from dissatisfaction for years, but we will not tell another that he could do something for us. How many quarrels and disagreements in relationships are due to the fact that: “Why should I ask? He doesn’t see it himself? Which means he doesn’t understand me, which means he doesn’t love me.” Why is it so difficult to say directly? We struggle with rejection, or think that we will be considered weak. And sometimes we just don’t want to disturb the person. Or it seems to us that if we ask, then they will look down on us. Only more often children’s fears and attitudes are behind this. One person decided to conduct an experiment. For 100 days, he turned to strangers with some kind of request. And you know what, 80 times out of 100 they were successful! He was even given the opportunity to give a lecture at one large university. Although he was not a teacher. Of course, there is a risk that you will be rejected. The person may not want to help you, or may not have the opportunity. This is his full right. But this does not mean that “life is pain, he is a snob, and you have been humiliated.” You can also refuse. There is freedom in this. But there are also a few simple rules of mutual assistance. 1. You should not help a person if he does not ask for it (the child needs to be taught).2. You should not help if the person himself has not tried to solve this problem (50/50 is a fair principle).3. It is dangerous to help if you are not in the resource right now. If you are currently exhausted. After all, in order to give, you need to have something. And of course, I’m not talking about some kind of force majeure here. I'm also not talking about the state of helplessness that people sometimes find themselves in. But by helping, for example, our child write an essay without following these rules, we make him helpless, without wanting it. But in general, asking is trusting. It's giving someone else a place next to you. In our pursuit of independence, we have lost the skill of mutual assistance. And I really want to be closer!