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I'm not a robot

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Some articles are written easily and naturally, with thoughts of calm and unobtrusive help to those for whom it is relevant. But some are written restlessly, sometimes even with some hope that they will not be useful. In this article we do not affect anyone's political position. We talk about feelings and children. About how to express and convey these feelings.◾️War (any kind, without specific time frames) is scary, unfair, painful and helpless. It’s terrible that this is happening to us in the age of high technology and space exploration. But how to explain this to children? Children who see, feel and adopt our anxiety, fears and tears. How to tell not about beautiful medals and fireworks, but about what is happening inside? How to explain what is happening now? ➖ The very first thing you can do is openly say about your feelings to your child (and yourself): “I’m sad, I feel bad, I’m crying, it’s not your fault, you have nothing to do with it.” When a child does not understand what is happening, but sees that mom and dad are feeling bad, his psyche thinks that he is bad, he is to blame, he did something wrong. It is very important here to show the child: I am with you, I am close, I love you and you are not to blame for anything. Don’t hide your emotions from children, they feel and understand everything if you talk to them.➖ The second thing we can do, especially if the child watches TV/listens to the news with us, etc. - talk about what happened. Explain that there are countries, there are territories, and there are situations when the peace between them is violated. Explain what the child sees and hears. Ignorance and uncertainty bring even more anxiety. There is no need to go into too much detail (especially if the child is very small). Give easy examples: children quarrel over toys, adults can quarrel over things, and sometimes there are more global quarrels between peoples and countries that are more difficult to experience. If you can’t gather your thoughts and don’t understand why this is all happening, then tell your child: “Yes, I’m scared too and I also don’t understand why this is. But I believe that all this will end and I will never leave you.” . ➖The third thing that is important to do is take care of yourself. The child adopts the parent’s state and no matter how hard we try to say “everything is fine” with anxiety on our faces and shaking hands, the child will not believe it. Find ways to distract yourself, to calm down as much as possible. Your peace of mind is the key to the peace of mind of your child. If you can’t calm down at all, don’t try to do it at the expense of the child: you are big, and he is small. Try to find the strength within yourself: meet with friends, go to the forest (to nature/to visit relatives), find your own way of distraction and relaxation. If it doesn’t help at all, make an appointment with a psychologist, he will carefully help and support. ◼️ You may not describe terrible events, deaths and explosions. But talk to your child about facts, about feelings, about news. Talk through an action plan for possible situations - how to call an ambulance, where we will go if something goes wrong, what are your favorite things to take with you. Think about it for yourself. The more order and understanding of actions (certainty = feeling of stability) - the easier it is to cope with the fear of the future. I wish the whole world - peace. And I really hope that this article will soon lose its relevance.☮️"Make love, not war" (c) Gershon Legman. If it’s really difficult for you, you can sign up for a consultation through personal messages or by phone:→ 8-999-627-25 -37→ Viber|WhatsApp|Telegram

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