There are adults who seem to have no rights to their lives. You can’t go on vacation, you can’t spend money on anything without remorse and fear of The parents' reaction does not work out. There are endless (most often maternal) reproaches that her daughter or son is spending money on the wrong things and everything is wrong. There are comparisons between the life of a parent, full of deprivation, and the life of a child, full of prosperity and freedom (from the mother’s point of view). And often in the reproaches of parents addressed to their grown-up child, resentment and envy, which is completely unusual for an adult, are clearly visible. And here is the mother , who has not grown out of the psycho-emotional swaddling clothes in which her own mother wrapped her, is already raising her own child. And the latter picks up the family baton and excludes from his self-awareness the feeling of being an adult. In other words, we are talking about the fact that there is a failure on the path of separation from parents from generation to generation. There are two clear indicators that this failure is taking place: dependence on the opinions of parents and others, difficulties with independent decision-making; living with parents of children who are now adults and have become financially independent. There is an even worse option - this is when adults continue to be financially dependent on their elderly parents. But let’s return to the title of our article - is such a life a death sentence? Fortunately, no, and then I I’ll write what an adult child can do to become independent. How to justify yourself, accused without trial, and regain the right to your own life preferences and confidence in the choices you make. You need to find places, activities, jobs, hobbies where you are not a daughter or son, and as an independent person - they were themselves. When solving the problem of choosing such places, determine: what do you want, what do you want for yourself? Perhaps one of these desires is to stop depending on how your mother speaks about you. After all, if you cannot communicate with your mother without periodically cursing and misunderstanding each other, then this is an indicator of incomplete separation from her. Often, on the one hand, grown-up children themselves feel that they are too dependent on their mother and this hinders their achievement of their goals. On the other hand, the benefits that this dependence gives them are so overestimated that they unconsciously cling to remaining unseparated from their parents. Think: what makes you suffer so much from the lack of support from your mother? Why is it so important to you that Has she finally appreciated you? After all, in fact, with no less success, you can decide and act on your own. You can get support from other people and give it to yourself. Then the sentence to be an “eternal daughter” or “eternal son”, which came into force in childhood, without trial, will no longer apply to you.