“Why should she feel bad?! After all, it was she who abandoned me, not I. I am the injured party in this situation, but everything is fine with her,” one of my clients remarked indignantly after breaking up with his common-law wife. Some people believe that only those who find themselves in the position of being abandoned have the right to suffer. After all, he (she) didn’t want a breakup, that’s what the second partner wanted, so he got what he wanted, let him be happy. But for some reason he is not happy (with rare exceptions). For some reason, he also feels pretty lousy at heart. What is happening to him? Any separation is painful, even if it happened on our initiative. The more connected you are, the harder it is to survive, even if the person has long understood that the ending is inevitable. People grow together emotionally and when a break occurs, there is an open wound in both of them that takes time to heal. A partner who has decided to break up usually experiences a feeling of guilt. It’s always easier to leave some scoundrel, but what if the partner was completely normal and adequate? Not only do you suffer from feelings of guilt, but you may also experience misunderstanding (or even pressure) from relatives and friends. And you cannot even work through the situation through anger at your partner, because it is you who are “to blame.” Finally, with this decision and his responsibility for it, the initiator of the breakup will have to live on for the rest of his life. And sometimes tormented by doubts: what if I hadn’t left (didn’t leave)? How would it turn out? Was this a mistake? Sometimes these doubts force a person to wander back and forth, torturing himself and his partner, but this only prolongs the agony. If the decision was forced and not made by chance under the influence of a heated quarrel, then the only correct postulate in this case is “leave, go away.” If you find yourself in a situation of separation, no matter in what position, my colleagues and I will help you. A psychologist can not only provide the necessary support, but also help to understand and work through the experience gained in this union to build new harmonious relationships.