Over the past 3-4 weeks, seven women aged from 27 to 52 years old have contacted me, presented by their husbands with a fact formulated with slight variations, but containing one essence: “I decided that we I need a divorce, you don’t love me at all.” All these women warmly assured me that they, unlike themselves, loved their husbands very much. Well, maybe they don’t always show it... “Fuck him away!..” - say experienced girlfriends, mothers and work colleagues. As soon as a relationship with a loved one begins to burst at the seams, many home-grown experts appear around and experts on masculinity. Few of them are able to be objective in discussing the causes of your misfortunes, but every second one is ready to tell you what to do and where to start! Friends have already sent their loved ones and now willingly give advice, secretly turn to marriage agencies and quietly rejoice at other people’s family scandals. They even flaunt the fact that they now live exclusively for themselves. They are so convincing that you will really believe: it’s better to live alone! (Remark: indeed, it is better if you have learned to be the best company for yourself)) From childhood, my mother instilled in me that “you should marry not the one you love, but the one who will love you.” Having dispersed the wrong suitors and chosen the “right husband” for her daughter, often the mother now tends to your family relationships (forgetting about her own, even if they are preserved) and continues to raise you. He criticizes your husband and declares on every occasion: “This is his responsibility, he is a man!” and “Don’t you dare humiliate yourself in front of him!” The women’s team will not begin the working day without drinking tea and discussing everyday troubles, giving the same advice (see above) with variations, such as “spit, forgive and live for the children.” If there are no children: “you don’t have to break up with him, just live for yourself,” “yes, get a lover!” etc. Some of us hide behind a mask of calm: “I’ll try to rise above the problem and pretend that everything is fine.” Many arrange home sabotage and begin to actively ruin the life of a loved one: “let him feel it!” And gradually the remnants of warmth, mutual understanding, joy and pleasure leave the cracked relationship, and tenderness and sex simply die out like atavisms. As a result, the female soul is filled with anger, insatiable resentment, fear of loneliness and doubts about future life: to send or forgive?! Both require a balanced decision that is difficult to make on your own. Anger and resentment poison the soul. It is very difficult to look at yourself and the situation from the outside. It is even more difficult to imagine yourself in the place of your loved one, and to feel what he feels. Friends and relatives cannot understand what you really want, and the result of their advice can be unexpected and very painful. Therefore, remember: each adviser only has their own experience, which they are trying to impose on you. But a conflict rarely has no basis constitutes a reason. And if you remember, then the husband also hinted at something like that, or even directly said something like: “maybe we can get by without mom?”, or “I’ll soon start to be jealous of your son...” If you if you want to save your family, and at the same time you have wisdom (or, for example, you know how to understand men’s language), pay attention to your loved ones, start noticing your husband. Put “on the scale” what you have and what you will gain after you kick your husband out. Try to figure out the family problem yourself. If necessary, listen to the recommendations of a family psychologist. Plan your own strategy and tactics. It is important to have a clear understanding of the causes of problems, as well as to represent your true goals and desires. In addition, it is advisable to have at least a draft forecast of the consequences and prepare for the possible reaction of loved ones/children before making and implementing final decisions. If you have no experience in “resolving” conflicts, then your actions are dictated by outsiders and not supported…