When a person thinks about himself, is it self-love or selfishness? Let’s figure it out. Clients often operate with these concepts during sessions and confusion arises, substitution of the meaning of these concepts, because since childhood a person has heard from their parents such a phrase: “Selfish! You only think about yourself.” And this phrase is pronounced in a negative, abusive manner, making it clear to the child that thinking and caring about oneself is bad, for this they scold and punish. And in order to be good and be praised or at least not scolded, you need to think first of all not about yourself, but about someone else, for example, about your immediate environment: mom, dad, sisters, brothers, grandparents, etc. d. So that they feel good, comfortable, not troublesome, and you will manage somehow. And in this case, the child develops the ability to be comfortable for others, but not for himself. And this subsequently leads to numerous problems when a person puts his interests, desires, feelings not in the first place for himself, but somewhere after all the people who are significant, and not so significant, for himself. He is not used to thinking about himself. He was taught to think about others, but not about himself. So just think about myself, do as I want, take care of myself, choose myself and my desires (without harming others) - this is self-love. When a person is a priority for himself. And selfishness is when I want others to do as I want. They took care of me the way I want, they chose what I liked, without taking into account their desires. When I have to be a priority for others because I want it that way - this is selfishness, the desire to control other people to achieve personal goals and desires. And when they say the “famous” phrase: “An egoist - you think only about yourself,” then They encourage you not only to think about others, but rather teach you not to notice your desires, needs, feelings. This means living for other people, not your own life, not taking into account your interests, being good and convenient for others. But such a life is gradually becoming an unbearable burden. Irritation grows, the colors of life fade, joy disappears from life, but you still don’t become good to everyone. And you never will, those around you just get used to it very quickly, and take your “sacrifice” for granted. Therefore, you need to be a priority for yourself, choose yourself and live your life, no matter what toxic phrases they tell you. You can learn to love yourself; it is not easy, but it is exciting. If you are unable to independently learn to love yourself, to choose yourself, I invite you to cooperate. You can sign up for a consultation in person or online by phone: 89021778175 Viber WhatsApp Telegram.