From the author: site blog In general, from childhood, we all know from fairy tales, according to adults, later from commandments, from good and bad characters in films and soap operas what is needed for happiness . To be patient, knowing that the morning is wiser than the evening, to respect parents because they are not chosen, just like brothers and sisters, and in general people should be perceived as they are. Also, be an optimist and transform everything negative into positive, see that any action is dictated by love, and if someone shows it in a strange way, then they simply haven’t been taught yet, and so on ad infinitum. But it doesn’t work out that way. There are excuses and so on, but that’s not what we’re talking about now. There are myths why it doesn’t work out: bad, lazy, weak will, apple from the tree, etc. Yes, it’s understandable, development plays a role - yes, upbringing too, environment, well-being, values ​​and goals, fate, karma, genes, mood, different life cycles such as menstrual in women, age 1-3-7-12-14- 40 years and a long list runs off into infinity. But the difficulties remain, there are discussion assistants, books, stories of people who have overcome difficult situations, close friends, mom and dad, work colleagues, clergy and representatives of other faiths, totalitarian and not so. Psychotherapy came out of philosophy and medicine, to help a person figure out how to overcome the pain of the soul and look for the philosophical meaning of his inner world; discovered the laws of response and functioning, communication, perception and what not. And it would seem to simplify the whole scheme to: all people are different and “I” perceive them as they are, there are problems in my vision of things - in my imagination and “I” stop whining and perceive everything positively, I love mom and dad, I believe that there are some forces in the world greater than mine, since “I” live, perhaps they are positively disposed. After deciding to live this way, when faced with a real situation, mental pain is suddenly felt, a feeling of “unhappiness” rolls in. And this is true for everyone, just to varying degrees. And look around, psychotherapy is at every step: in choosing friends, work, advice, well, and when something succeeds, you can say it’s just necessary to do it and everything will work out. And for some, this “simple and all” may take their whole life. The guarantee that the desired changes will occur is small, but more than nothing; and this sends people looking for help and they find it. In psychotherapy, it has the weight of science, official attention, quality control, and as a rule, those who choose the path of helping others have already been able to do something with their pain and continue to look for answers and endlessly learn methods and techniques, and what is important, Using their own pain as an example, they know how painful it can be for others. Also, mental pain is the strongest and it is mental pain that most quickly affects health, and it also affects the decision to live or not to live - mental pain, not physical pain. Desires are not always clear; often they are encoded under the thoughts of logical reasoning, which, as we know, can only use known facts; and the answer, as always, is beyond what is known, beyond the advice “look at it from the other side” and other how. An impartial conversation with an acquaintance or a relative is impossible. You are always in a position where there is personal emotional gain, which will not help you advance far, not to mention professional skills. The soul is little studied, it is known that the soul opens, feeling security and reliability, respect and attention, care and sensitivity. What a specialist can give, and this increases the chances of success. “Why go to a psychologist, let’s sit with friends at the table and do the same thing.” Well, not really. They even came up with the term “kitchen therapy.” When you manage to find a solution with friends and on your own, psychotherapy is not needed. The practice of life shows that there is such a terrible beast “defense mechanisms” and it crawls out to its owner when the experiences are strong, but neither the family nor he himself had any experience of overcoming this. I thought about it myself, got even more loaded, with a friend?»