Warm September evening. You are walking through the park, yellow leaves rustle under your feet, the autumn air is transparent and clean. However, you do not notice all this, you are concerned with the only question: “Why does he or she think THIS way about me?” “Am I really that bad?” - flashes through your head. You ask yourself a lot of different questions, but try asking yourself: “Why do I care so much about the opinions of the people around me?” The answer lies deep inside, in our subconscious. The fact is that, oddly enough, we sometimes do not have a personal opinion about some aspects of our personality or, most often, have a negative opinion about them. In the first case, we require opinions coming from outside, i.e. opinions of people around us so that they help us “know ourselves.” And every person subconsciously wants to know himself. But knowing himself only through external opinions, he becomes dependent on them, they, opinions, begin to control him. A person loses himself, he is no longer able to live without external nourishment. While a person does not know who he is, he absorbs both positive and negative opinions about himself. Ultimately, a personality is formed in which a certain part begins to treat itself kindly and respectfully, and a certain part begins to treat itself with disdain, despising itself, the so-called “victim”. Which part do you have more? Any negative opinion from the outside responds with agreement in that part of the personality that thinks badly about itself. But living with contempt and self-hatred is unbearable. A person with all his might begins to prove to the “offender” that he is good, although he essentially proves this to himself. But, unfortunately, he doesn’t understand this. The opinions of those around him again become necessary for him: benevolent ones in order to cajole the “victim”, aggressive ones so that he has someone to prove, someone to blame. Dependence appears again, the need for external replenishment. Vicious circle. And there is only one way out of it - changing your opinion about yourself. It can be difficult to deal with this on your own, because... opinions were formed in relationships with other people, and to change them also requires relationships with a professional other. We are also often hurt when we are ignored, no matter who: a loved one, a random passer-by, a salesperson in a store. Although, in the first case, of course, it is more painful. As they say, it’s better to hit, naori, but don’t ignore. What happens to us at such moments? Imagine that you are trying to talk to your friend while at a party. At the same time, he communicates with other people, but does not pay any attention to you, as if you were a ghost. And ghosts don't exist. So the question begins to worry you: “Do I exist?” You believe that people do not recognize your existence. Do you admit it yourself? When you tell yourself: “I AM, I EXIST,” it will not matter to you whether others ignore you or not. You will know that you exist, and ignoring you will be considered impolite by your interlocutor..