I'm not a robot

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I'm not a robot

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I observe that surprisingly many people of completely different ages whom I meet in life have very “strong heads”. What do I mean by this? For me, a sign of a “strong head” is the habit of explaining everything, cyclically answering oneself the same question “what will/would happen if I...?”, which often leads to a state of anxiety, “winding up” oneself. “A strong head” means rigid attitudes, florid fantasies and polysyllabic judgments, entire essays about your life and the lives of others, these are daily proven theorems and solvable equations with many variables. A “strong head” rules, she is the big boss. To be able to solve rationally and balancedly daily life tasks and big tasks are a valuable quality! But exactly until the head becomes the only way to interact with the world. In some cases, so much has already been piled up and intertwined in it that it seems to turn off the body from the perception of “fresh”, relevant information necessary for timely adaptation to a changing reality, and, figuratively speaking, begins to digest its contents, goes into an autonomous mode. This can last for years. And then the person’s body begins to hurt, or lose a lot of weight, or gain weight for no apparent reason; his - his body - a person with a “strong head” does not hear, but only uses it, complaining when the body breaks down (sick) or deteriorates (decrepit). What else do I observe? Such a person experiences discord in personal relationships, since he Relationships with a loved one, any kind, however, should develop according to the script, but not according to their own natural course. The partner begins to feel like a part of this virtual plan, scenario, and this is, perhaps, very lonely, yes, and it will never be possible to comply with all 99 points of the plan. And then resentment, misunderstanding, non-acceptance, intolerance... Clients with a “strong head” ask me the following question: “What should I do in this situation, when he did/said this? How should I react? And I realize that I, too, am expected to provide a ready-made solution to this virtual equation with several variables. Of course, I do not have the “right” answer, I can only share my experience. A person's personal experience is based on their unique reality. Therefore, advice in most cases does not work. Instead of answering, I can suggest slowing down and listening to yourself. What is there? Describe it in simple language. How did you feel then and how do you feel now? And then there is often a stop, surprise and even confusion. And a very touching process for me begins when a person begins to listen to himself, literally get to know himself, as if for the first time or in a very long time he begins to notice his experiences, bodily manifestations and sensations (that he almost does not breathe, or stiffness and tension in the body... ), still vague desires and needs. It can be sad to see how, at times, a person lives out of contact with himself. Often a person asks the question: “Tell me, what kind of feelings could these be?” And we give a name to these sensations - forgotten or unconscious. Then, for example, behind the label “resentment” we find a whole palette of experiences - grief, sadness, confusion, a feeling of loneliness. And for these moments the flow of thoughts and verified correct words stops, tears and “goosebumps” often appear throughout the body. And the person in the chair opposite begins to simply be, experience, be present now, and not in his fantasy, to exist as a single whole, and not just with his head, yes, so, of course, important and necessary, but sometimes too rigidly organizing the rest of the living being. And at such a moment, and at first it is really just a moment, something in a person warms up and changes. For these moments, he leaves the “matrix” and becomes alive, risks not assessing what is happening to him, but allows this experience to happen, begins to observe, allowing himself to notice something new, gets to know himself, the real me. And this appears in human experience, ah,?

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