Money is the most suitable subject for quarrels. Topics can be very diverse. You can quarrel over who should earn it and how much, or who should spend it and how. But is conflict over money, the lack of money or the power it gives, always the real reason? Perhaps this is just the tip of the iceberg, under the thickness of which completely different motives are hidden, not always realized? It is clear that money is one of the foundations on which married and family life is based. And they are an indispensable attribute of any family and marital ups and downs. Moreover, with the help of money in the family, we express our feelings, aspirations, fulfill obligations, compensate for damage or relieve guilt, humiliate or coerce. Money gives us power and control, and we can use it at our own discretion, namely: give, hold, promise, but then not fulfill the promise, etc. As a result, a feeling of injustice, misunderstanding, and mistrust arises. Anxiety and stress increase. And the result is alienation, lack of respect and love. As a result, money becomes a constant cause of conflict in the family. However, you need to understand that a money conflict can bring to the surface many different, deeper problems that exist in the relationship between spouses, such as dissatisfaction with the marriage and relationships in general. And then, perhaps, it is worth asking each other the following questions: Do we hear each other? Do we trust each other? What unites us? Or disconnects? Do we see a future together? Are we happy with our life together? Or do we need change? Have we become close enough people? What worries us in our relationships? etc. Nevertheless, many couples prefer not to voice issues that bother them, but follow a well-known but unreliable road, thereby becoming increasingly bogged down in unresolved problems, not daring to voice pressing issues. After all, talking about intimacy, confidence in a partner and true feelings is a very shaky road, and it is also unknown where it will lead. In a relationship where there is no opportunity to talk about their experiences, fears, anxieties and where there is little openness, honesty and many secrets, couples avoid voicing more important topics. Manipulating each other replaces open dialogue. If spouses could openly discuss their experiences with each other, they would be able to build a relationship that suits both, bringing pleasure rather than torment. After all, healthy relationships are, first of all, those relationships that are quite transparent and negotiable. Are you able to talk about what exactly is bothering you in the relationship? Without touching on the topic of money? Photo: Mahdi Bafande