Every person has been faced with devaluation since childhood. It is tightly woven into our lives and becomes part of it. We devalue both our own achievements, successes, feelings and desires, and those of others. In the article we will look at what is behind this mechanism, why it is dangerous and how to learn to value yourself. What is hidden under devaluation and when it occurs Devaluation is one of the protective mechanisms of the psyche. With its help, she tries to distance us from traumatic experiences and avoid new ones. In this way, the psyche tries to reduce anxiety and leave us in the comfort zone. In what cases does this mechanism work: When you want something, but cannot implement it. In this case, it is often easier to reassure yourself with the phrase “I didn’t really want to.” Added to this is the fear of condemnation from other people, ridicule or shame - as a result, it is obvious that it is easier to give up your desire than to make attempts to fulfill it and experience a whole palette of feelings. In this case, devaluation comes to the “help”. With him, we remain in a safe zone, and we do not have to experience unpleasant emotions, enter into uncomfortable conversations and feel discomfort from their consequences. In interpersonal relationships. Devaluation can manifest itself through envy or judgment in the spirit of “she was just lucky” or “anyone can do it.” Thanks to it, we at least briefly reduce the internal tension that arises due to shame, fear and disappointment in ourselves. It is so difficult for us to contact them that we shift our focus to others and devalue their successes and qualities. When people console each other. Often, when we share our experiences, feelings and pain with someone, we may hear in response “don’t worry, everything will be fine” or “don’t get soggy, get yourself together.” Few people really find such words comforting. Devaluation helps more the comforter, who is afraid of his confusion and powerlessness in a situation when he needs to help someone else or change something. Since a person does not understand how to deal with unpleasant emotions, he says the supposedly correct words and thereby shifts the emphasis from his own states. But instead of helping, it ends up devaluing other people’s feelings. On the one hand, devaluation protects us. When we reduce the importance of feelings, events and desires that arise, it is as if we are taking a painkiller and reducing internal tension. But on the other hand, such “thrift” ultimately backfires on us. With her, our relationship cannot be close, and life cannot be full. In this state we miss it. To prevent this, it would be better to learn to value yourself. How to help yourself get rid of devaluation What we can start doing to stop devaluing ourselves: Learn to recognize your feelings. Our emotional state is a source of important information about ourselves. When we figure out what we really feel in a given situation, we can move on. Develop awareness. This will allow you to monitor and stop internal criticism. We are unlikely to feel valued while we abuse ourselves. Provide self-support. To get rid of devaluation, it is important to treat your feelings and states with care, respect your own interests and desires, create your own system of values ​​and beliefs. Recognize your achievements. It is important to learn to take credit for your own successes - regardless of their significance. Communicate with supportive people. Having people around you who support and share your values ​​and successes is another important step that will help you not devalue yourself. As I said above, we often encounter devaluation already in childhood. When we are compared unfavorably to other children, scolded for bad grades and unjustified expectations, and basically brought up in a critical atmosphere. Because we have spent so long learning to devalue ourselves, it will take some time to master and develop new skills. In this matter, you can also seek help from a psychologist and in a confidential and: 8 961 890 20 66