Surely you have been in houses where, in addition to people, cats and dogs live. They sleep, eat together and seem to understand each other perfectly, although they are a classic example of enmity, and speak different languages. "When no one sees us, we are ready to bite each other!" -I hear these words, or words similar in meaning, in about every fifth consultation. Outwardly prosperous couples, sometimes arousing the envy of others, often cannot find mutual understanding in the simplest family situations. And this despite the fact that they manage to create and develop a joint business, complementing each other perfectly, provide complex production processes, find a common language with bosses, colleagues and subordinates. In order to understand issues of misunderstanding (and not only within a loving couple, but also between parents and children, brothers and sisters, bosses and subordinates), it is advisable to examine not only the specific situation that acted as a symptom. Sometimes it is necessary to go back to the beginning of the relationship, to remember where it all began. In fact, in addition to love and passions, did the couple really have attention and understanding for each other, or did they have to suppress something within themselves - dissatisfaction, anger or resentment? The roots of the problems that people face in family life are often found in childhood , in the parental family, relationships with teachers, peers... It is then that the prerequisites for relating to oneself and others arise, self-esteem is formed, communication and cooperation abilities are trained. To cope with the problems that arise, do not wait until you find yourself at a dead end, losing in a fruitless struggle with yourself and your loved ones, believing in yourself, plunging into a feeling of disappointment and powerlessness. Reanimation of dear but dying relationships may turn out to be ineffective; prevention is much more important! What to do to return to you the feeling of joy from communicating with a loved one? First of all, learn to observe - first of all, yourself. Clarify the relationship at the first sign of misunderstanding. Learn to hear each other, figure out the reasons, don’t hope that everything will “resolve on its own.” If you feel that you can’t cope on your own, and “things are still there”, contact specialists. Having received family counseling or an individual course within the framework of special programs, you will learn to see the situation from new angles, gain skills in correctly clarifying relationships, learn to understand each other’s language and realize the deep meaning of the phenomena that unite you or, conversely, separate you “in different corners.” There is no magic wand or “golden pill” that will instantly relieve your problems. Without your desire, readiness for serious internal study and your own changes, it is unlikely that you will be able to achieve lasting results. There is always a chance to change what you no longer like. Sometimes a simple clarification of the circumstances is enough: look at yourself and your relationships and sincerely answer the questions: “What is my contribution to what is happening?”, “What do I lose (if, for example, I scream)?” and "What do I get if I do this (again, shouting and criticizing)?"