I continue to talk about how to find a way out of a hopeless situation. Start in the following articles. How to organize yourself. Help yourself. Part 2: How to organize yourself. Help yourself. Part 1 Situation 1. A woman, being in long-term therapy, shared the following: - My mother-in-law constantly asks for money. Her husband refuses her. She chooses the moment and when he is not at home, sits down opposite me and begins to complain that she feels bad, that there is nothing to eat, that she has sacrificed a lot for her son. I feel sorry for her. I give money, my husband gets angry when he finds out. We have scandals because of this. - What does your mother-in-law need? - She takes out loans, and then complains that all the money is spent on paying off the loans. That’s why her husband doesn’t give her money so that she doesn’t take out loans. She really spends all her money on paying off loans. It happened several times that her husband paid off her debts to the bank. - Do she really need the loans she takes? - No. - You and your husband need to think about how to stop your mother-in-law so that she cannot take loans. For example:1. Inform that you will file a lawsuit to declare her incompetent.2. Pay her a fixed amount every month, with the condition that she will not take out loans.3. Tell her that none of you will ever give her money. The only thing you can do for her is to never deny her food. Bottom line. The scandals in the family stopped after the son announced to his mother: “You can always come and have lunch and dinner with us.” I will give you money (a fixed amount) at the end of the month if you cancel your credit cards and do not apply for a loan. The woman said that her mother-in-law agreed to these conditions. The first week I came for dinner, but then I stopped coming and the complaints stopped. Situation 2 - I live with my son and daughter-in-law. I want to live separately, but my son reproaches me for not loving him, for being selfish, for thinking only about myself. But I want to live separately, I want to get married, I’m only 48 years old. When I think about leaving them, I feel ashamed. I don't have my own place in my own apartment. When I return home, where my son and daughter-in-law are there, my grandchildren are running around, I go straight to the kitchen. Everyone is waiting for me to feed. In this case, it took several sessions for the woman to see how this situation harms her son’s family too. The arrangement showed that she was keeping her son close to her, and not vice versa. After the “separation” ritual was carried out, the woman began to express her needs more confidently and decided to satisfy them. Her fears that the relationship with her son and grandchildren would deteriorate, that she would be rejected, were not justified. She found a resource to separate and live independently. Dear readers, I rejoice at your responses to my thoughts and thoughts! It’s a pleasure to give you articles and receive a “thank you” from you.© All rights reserved. Reprinting an article or fragment is possible only with a link to this site and indicating the authorship. A guide to my books: about women's destinies, psychology in metaphors, useful things about children.