From the author: In fairy tales it happens like this: they met, fell in love, overcame all difficulties and began to live happily ever after, and gave birth to a crowd of children... What to do if at some stage you are stuck with your chosen one? It turns out not at all fabulously wonderful if, for example, you have each been living with your parents for n number of years and only sometimes spend the night at each other’s houses. What if you are tired of this and want more? In fairy tales it happens like this: they met, fell in love, overcame all difficulties and began to live happily ever after, and gave birth to a crowd of children... But what if at some stage you are stuck with your chosen one? It turns out not at all fabulously beautiful, if, to for example, you have been living with your parents for n number of years and only sometimes spend the night at each other’s houses. What if you are tired of this and want more? If this topic resonates in your soul, then read on - this article is for you. Listen! After all, if the stars light up, it means someone needs it? (Vladimir Mayakovsky) Vladimir Mayakovsky, of course, wrote a little about something else, but his words are applicable to the situation we are examining. The truth is that if a relationship has exactly the format that it has, then its participants need it. Since you are the one reading my article, I can assume that in this relationship it is you who are not satisfied with the current state of affairs, and your chosen one is not yet ready for a serious relationship in the near future, he is HAPPY with EVERYTHING. Although I do not rule out the possibility that you were so overwhelmed by this same other half with its persuasion to start a relationship on a new level that you are reading these lines to understand how to calm it down in the end. Yes, right? :) One way or another, but always at least one person from such a couple is in a COMFORTABLE situation for themselves and does not want to change anything. He acts as a “dog in the manger”: he himself does not build a family, and he discourages everyone else from his supposedly loved one. The first thing that is important for you to realize and accept is that due to the fact that one is comfortable, such relationships can last indefinitely, as long as one endures and the other is comfortable. One way out is to destroy comfort and bring your chosen one, satisfied with life, out of a state of stability and peace. And there is a lot that can be done here, but I will not dwell on this, since everything needs to be selected individually. We move on and naturally come to the conclusion that it is simply necessary to understand the reasons why your significant other is not ready to develop a relationship. There is no way to do this without a serious one-on-one conversation. And you need to seriously prepare for this conversation so that your partner understands not just your principled position and views on family life, but what desires lie behind them. And here you may have concerns about whether he will send you away into the forest and into the fields far, far away. Is such a relationship ending so scary for you? You should think seriously about this and look your fear in the eye. I can reassure you: since he is still with you, it means this is his conscious choice, a choice, and he has good reasons for this, perhaps even one of them is sincere love to you. This is natural, when you have been together for a long time, you become so attached to each other that you begin to be afraid of losing what you have. So, you and your chosen one will find out the reason for not wanting a serious relationship by talking with him. What else is important not to miss? It is very important to remember that there are two states: I love or I don’t love. And there are two other indicators that determine them: I accept a person for who he is, or I don’t accept. In conclusion, I recommend that you make sure that your chosen one has every reason to be confident in your love for him, in your loyalty and devotion to him, and...your readiness to accept him in his unpreparedness for a serious relationship. The whole question comes down to one thing: do you decide that you are ready to accept him as he is now, or not. It is impossible to force a person to do something against his will, and even.