When we begin to work as adults on building healthy self-esteem, we try to be aware of our actions. It is interesting that we can consider not only physical activity or words to be actions, but also thoughts. , thoughts can be both conscious and “reflexive”. A conditioned reflex is formed as a response to a challenge from the environment (external or internal). A thought can also be a habitual reaction to certain difficulties and tasks. Moving to the level of skill, a thought ceases to require constant conscious effort for its thinking. On the one hand, this saves energy, on the other, it can lead to a decrease in awareness of interaction with oneself and with the world. Growing up, a person is faced with the fact that his thinking habits, formed at an age when he had little strength, experience and knowledge , continue to manifest themselves as if against his will. Having noticed such processes, we get the opportunity to correct them. But in conditions of lack of psychological knowledge, many people are afraid of these poorly conscious processes in their thinking. They get angry with themselves and begin to actively fight these thoughts: they drive them away, ignore them, or turn them into active attention as if in a whirlpool, not finding a way out and becoming more and more anxious. People live in a constant struggle with their own thoughts: I want to think them, and I don’t want to think them - at the same time! This struggle takes a lot of energy and time, taken away from active life. What is the way out of this vicious circle? To begin with, stop fighting thoughts. Begin to be aware of the fact that they exist, and not be afraid of it. Any addiction can be corrected only if the problem is noticed and recognized. If you start to fight your thoughts, they begin to get scared that they are not respected, and they persecute us even more persistently! An anxious thought is an important protective function of consciousness. If you fight with her, she becomes even more worried: “My mistress is careless, how can I leave her, because she needs an eye, yes an eye!” There is only one way out: start tracking these thoughts in the flow, recording them and sorting them out piece by piece. Thus, we show them sufficient attention and respect, take into account all their warnings, and do not ignore them. Then the thought calms down and fades into the background, without interfering with our ability to live calmly and enjoy life. In the cognitive-behavioral approach, similar work is carried out with automatic, reflexive thoughts. It is no coincidence that this approach worked effectively in domestic psychotherapy, but was called " conditioned reflex therapy." The trick is that a thought can also be a “conditioned reflex” and elude active awareness. If allowed to do so, it begins to limit our ability to adapt to changing environmental conditions and preserves more immature forms of response to difficulties. The path of personal growth is constant work on increasing the awareness of those automatic processes that exist in our psyche. We notice automatic, reflexive thoughts, check their realism and usefulness in new, changed conditions, and, if necessary, form new thinking habits. It is better to do this at first with the help of a specialist psychologist. Psychological counseling provides an opportunity, in a safe environment, with caring support, to increase the awareness of your thinking and learn to live more simply and joyfully.