From the author: How human it is: to support, to provide assistance. But sometimes good turns into evil, which is done with the best intentions.. If I do not take responsibility, then I will soon become a victim. If the role of a rescuer is imposed on me, then I will soon become a victim. A person gets involved in the usual strategy and cannot stop. Getting out of the victim role involves long and difficult work on yourself and requires a long conversation. I will give only a general concept. So, the main points: You need to determine how much the situation is related to you. The origins lie in childhood, come from the family. Realize that you yourself play the role of the victim. The key word is yourself. This is difficult to admit. The role was imposed in childhood on an unconscious level by parents, school and other well-wishers. This role was approved and encouraged by significant figures and the child felt very good and happy performing it. Often the victim does not know that he is a victim. She feels her great mission, is proud of herself, feels valuable and significant, very good. The victim believes that he is doing good to others. The first realization comes when she realizes that she is not valued. Others for some reason do not appreciate the good that she wants to do to them and even shy away from it. They are bad, and I am good, the victim decides. They are bad because they don’t appreciate them. The victim believes that others will one day understand her value and be grateful. For this, she is ready, with new strength and with all zeal, to sacrifice herself even more. She soon realizes that she is not only not appreciated, but moreover, she is required to do good in full and with even better quality. And the demands are growing day by day, expressed in a rude and disrespectful manner. It’s good if there is an insight that something is not gelling here. In this case, the victim can pay attention to himself: what is he doing that over and over again finds himself in the position of a victim. How does she herself contribute to this? Realize the harm of being a victim for yourself and your loved ones. The key word is for yourself. The victim offers herself and is glad when she is used, because someone needs her! Delight and Hurray! Her value increases when someone depends on her services, and especially when she cannot do without her at all. The victim's child often becomes unconsciously, for her sake, powerless or sick. The husband/wife starts drinking and quits work. As a result, the children hate her/him, the husband/wife scolds and beats her/him. Exiting the game: rescuer, rapist, victim. It is very difficult to exit the vicious circle of rescuer, criminal, victim. Drastic measures are required. The victim cannot leave because she sincerely believes that the others will die without her. She does not understand that she urgently needs to save herself. The others hold her tightly so that the game does not end, because the unknown is scary. They don’t yet know how to live differently. Usually the victim comes to a psychologist when he has reached the point of depression or suicide, when the children are drug addicts, drink, and do not work. Release the "criminal". It is necessary to release the criminal in two forms: external and internal. To release the external criminal means to accept all the violence that occurred as inevitable under the conditions that previously existed, to distance yourself from the external criminal, to leave the sphere of his influence, so that violence against you will no longer repeated, demand compensation for the damage caused, if possible. Letting go of the inner criminal within yourself means giving up the desire for revenge, seeing your own inner executioner, who has mentally tortured the criminal many times in his imagination, turning attention to yourself, deciding how you can help yourself make your life more prosperous. Refuse to “save” other adults. Caring is wonderful when it does not interfere with the development of the one being cared for. There is no need to try to change someone else. Change yourself. Change your life to become an example of a better life, to become happy. Even the Lord God does not decide the fate of people, but gives them the opportunity to choose and make mistakes. Find a new purpose for yourself in.