From the author: To seem, not to be. Friends, quite often we have all heard such “truths” as “love yourself” and others like them. The saying that other people treat you the way you deserve (you are worthy, you allow them the way you treat yourself) is similar to the “testaments of Ilyich” from the communist past, a kind of instruction to youth. Well, or this truth is similar to the covenant of our Lord, from the Old Testament or the new - no one really remembers. We mindlessly repeat these phrases and... we simply don’t believe in them. No, we want to believe, this is probably how it is... as smart people say... but an inquisitive mind needs justification, but why is this so? Why did the world become a mirror? Several of my recent publications have been related to nonverbal communication. I mentioned body language from various angles, as well as the symbolism of facial expressions and gestures. I especially noted the fact that the people around you literally read your emotional state by your postures, gestures, and tone of voice. Just like you, for sure and without error, you can easily identify a person who is modest or impudent, sad or cheerful, sociable or withdrawn, and so on. Perhaps your impression will be wrong if this is your first meeting. But I don’t want to focus on the fact that “you don’t get a second chance to make a first impression.” Let's better move towards "meeting by clothes". So, your positioning (in the literal sense of the word, your posture in space) each time serves as a signal, a marker for sticking a label on you. The clothes with which the people around you will meet you are not necessarily physical, made of fabric, they are successful (or not) may be psychological. Your mood, your self-esteem, your dissatisfaction with yourself is VISIBLE to almost all people with the naked eye. Your embarrassment and even whether you consider yourself beautiful or ugly. More precisely, people see a beauty or an ugly woman in front of them, depending on how you think about yourself now. Body therapists may say that your body is arranged into a “hieroglyph” each time, representing something of your choosing. And whether this is with your knowledge or not is the tenth question. It depends on whether you are tracking your limbic system with your neocortex or not. In other words, are you aware of the contents of your unconscious? Sooooo... Let's fantasize? Imagine... Yourself. You are sitting like this (or like that) in your office, perhaps you are a psychologist, perhaps you are a tough boss. Perhaps you just have an office, or perhaps this office is not yours, and you ended up there by accident. This is even more interesting. Here you sit, not bothering anyone. You play with a writing instrument. And then the door opens. It doesn’t just open, it swings open, almost with your foot, almost wide open. And this healthy guy comes in, literally as if he was coming into his own home. Stylish suit, cufflinks instead of buttons, looks respectable. So solid that he didn’t even bother to match the color of the trouser belt to the boots. Above this, probably, uh-huh, uh-huh... let's write it down like that.... The chin is slightly raised, the gaze is half-lowered, the gait is “free, from the hip.” Everything is in the best traditions of Verochka from “Office Romance”. “Here” everything is free. Your hands don’t fuss, your legs don’t twist, your mouth doesn’t leak, your tie is straight, tight to your neck, and at least you swallow nervously. No. Flint! And he looks strictly like that. He says hello loudly. So, what will you do if such a fellow catches you playing with his pencils, huh? Will you slide under the table? Or will you say hello politely? Besides... maybe this is not the owner of the office at all? Although... Although, he behaves like the owner, of course. Let's continue to fantasize. There you sit all like this. In the office. I understand that you “can’t do everything”, well, just a little, now you will have another visitor. The door opens slightly. It opens slightly. It opens slightly... slowly it opens slightly. What? Have you leaned forward in your chair yet? Or huddled in a chair? How are you doing? Where is your body? The door opened slightly and... at the level of your waist, a head squeezes through the door. Normal.