From the author: Olga KovalenkoDepression and Moscow: perfectionism is a contributing factor... Selection criterion Many people migrate to Moscow. They choose the capital because they want to work in elite law firms, advertising agencies or to unleash their potential. In general, many Muscovites are very ambitious, which does not necessarily lead to maladjustment. However, a subset of these people may be prone to perfectionism. Perfectionists often have unrealistic and high expectations. When perfectionists don't achieve a professional or personal goal, they feel like failures on a holistic level. They can become very punitive towards themselves. This self-punishment is what is mostly problematic, not their ambitions. As a result of their self-flagellation when a goal is not achieved, they may be prone to depression or other psychological difficulties. Competition: A perfectionist who decides to move to Moscow may experience a fading dream. Upon arriving in the Big City, the eager Moscow resident discovers that the competition is fierce. For example, in their acting class, they may be matched with other people who are equally skilled or superior. They understand that they may not achieve their goals. This awakening may lead to doubt as their dreams may become deflated and gradually turn into despair. In comparison, a non-perfectionist, although disappointed and perhaps sad when goals are not achieved, is usually more tolerant and emotionally stable. Choice: A perfectionist wants to make perfect choices. The combination of perfectionism and the metropolis can be problematic due to the abundance of options. Which therapist should I choose? Who should I date? What kind of job do I take? A perfectionist weighing these options may become exhausted, experience self-doubt, and fantasize about a road never even traveled. They are very knowledgeable about all the possibilities. Too many options can lead to inaction. Inaction and indecisiveness can significantly contribute to depression. Often, a perfectionist's lack of choice and commitment can also lead to isolation. For example, they cannot choose a girl or a guy as they ponder over the thousands of other opportunities available to them in the giant city and the numerous dating apps at their fingertips. Scenery: Crowded streets and subways, loud noises and clearly toxic smells can be unpleasant for everyone. However, research shows that perfectionists, compared to non-perfectionists, experience daily hassles more intensely because they cope with them more negatively. Below are tips for managing perfectionism in metropolitan areas: Avoid “black and white” thinking: This type of thinking is extreme and places experiences into broad categories as good or bad. There is no middle ground or gray area. For example, a perfectionist who makes a mistake may consider himself a complete failure. A more realistic, balanced perspective would be to avoid defining yourself globally by the situation. A mistake does not define who you are in the aggregate. Making a mistake does not mean you are incompetent. Every successful person makes mistakes. Learn from the competition: Moscow is extremely competitive. Competition helps you grow and expand if you respond to it adaptively and makes you work harder. When competing, it is important to accept losses and learn from them. What did your competition do right? What can you learn from them? How can you improve what they do? Failure can be your best teacher if you refrain from ruminating, withdrawing, or getting stuck in the defeat you experienced. Decide: At the end of the day, it's important to take action when faced with a choice. Consistent inaction usually leads to stagnation and depression. When making a decision, use the information you have and do what seems.