One of the most common requests with which people turn to a psychologist is problems in raising and communicating with children. These problems have existed from time immemorial and were described not only in psychological literature, but also in fiction. What causes such a gap between generations and what can be done about it? This is facilitated by a number of factors, the main ones, from my point of view, which I will describe in this article. WORLD PERSPECTIVE. Each person is unique, a unique set of views, concepts, attitudes, contaminations, prohibitions, and so on. Accordingly, we see the world with our own eyes and it is extremely difficult to see it through the eyes of another person. What seems obvious and self-evident to you may be completely incomprehensible to another person. Especially if this person is still only 3, 5 or 10 years old. Have you noticed how little children are sincerely surprised by seemingly simple phenomena? Hence the problem arises that when interacting with children, adults often rely on their experience, knowledge and perception of the world around them, and not on what the child knows, sees and understands. EMOTIONALITY. Are you familiar with the phrase: “He rejoices like a child”? It is in childhood that we easily experience and express authentic feelings, such as, for example, Joy. Then, as adults, we experience Joy precisely because of the Child ego state. One of the most common prohibitions, in my opinion, is precisely the “Don’t feel” prohibition. Unfortunately, in the education system there is no such subject as “Emotional Literacy,” which means that only parents can explain how a child feels and how to express his feelings. If an adult’s knowledge in this area is insufficient, limited, or, in general, covered by trauma, then a misunderstanding arises of what the child lives and expresses. LANGUAGE. Try to explain to a Japanese in pure Russian what a rainbow is. How quickly can you do this? It’s about the same with children, especially at an advanced age. When an adult explains something to a child, misunderstanding, as a rule, is not the problem of the child, but of the one who explains. Children have their own language, consisting of their vocabulary, a set of concepts that they are already aware of. If you want to explain something new to your baby, then it will be much more effective to do it in his language. And, certainly, not a single child deserves to feel Anger towards him for not understanding something. If you look at it, adults in such a situation are angry because they are not able to find the words to explain so that it is understood. CONTRACTABILITY. Many people believe that a child is too young to negotiate anything with him. In fact, teaching a child contractual communication develops responsibility without causing psychological trauma. After all, children quickly learn chains like: “Stimulus-Response” when they want to get what they want. If a child knows that his desires and needs are important, they are taken into account, he is heard without hysterics, and hysterics are a non-constructive option for solving a problem, then you will be able to do without an emotional “tornado.” ALL THE BEST IS FOR CHILDREN. Every healthy parent wishes their child happiness. The path along which they lead him there is different for everyone. It is important to remember that if you yourself have not found happiness, then you will hardly be able to teach it to your child. “We didn’t live, so the children will live...” How? How will they know this? How will they learn to be happy or even just relax if you haven't shown it to them? Everything that happens in your life as the norm is perceived as the norm by children too. TECHNOLOGY. We all come from childhood, and once, one way or another, faced misunderstandings from our parents. This has become especially acute in the era of rapid development of technology, and, accordingly, the acceleration of the pace of life. The pace of development of the digital world is such that each new generation may no longer be able to find the technical solutions with which the previous one appeared. Many modern teenagers, for example, seeing a telephone with a rotary dial,.