This article can replenish your home psychological first aid kit. I know that in our time this is a very pressing problem. How not to shout at children? How can you do it quickly: Replace screaming with a whisper - you may be surprised by the effect. As soon as you realize that you are about to scream, go to another room . Here you can do something that will calm you down, for example, use the methods that I recently described in the post “15 ways to throw out negativity,” or use your own method of calming down. It’s good before you go into the room to say (if possible): “I’ll go into the room now, because I don’t want to raise my voice, and after you calm down, we’ll continue the conversation, because I want to understand why you want this.” ... or come to a common decision .... etc." It’s better to prepare the words you will say in advance. Go drink a glass of water. Go out into the fresh air. Offer the child a drink of water. Try to empathize with the child. Say that you see how angry he is. Listen, hug, hold him close - whatever is appropriate for the situation and age. Count to 10, then continue communication. I want to tell you that there are different types of screaming. For example, 1) you call a child to brush his teeth, but he still doesn’t come over and over again, you shouted so that he hears and comes, 2) screaming when you are on the road and see that the child may now be in danger, and 3) screaming, when we break down, when we can track a fairly strong impulse, we can shout “Yes, as much as possible!”, “You got me!”, and so on. And it is this kind of scream that will be traumatic (third option). What could be the reasons for the scream: Screaming as a skill acquired from the parental family, the habit of swearing in the family where you grew up. From powerlessness, despair, fatigue, when you have already tried all the ways and cannot see there is no other way out. When we have an attitude that we cannot act differently in a given situation. It is only screaming that works in this situation. Otherwise they simply don’t hear me. Or we think that we have a special child. Perfectionism. When we have certain expectations from our child, and we are disappointed when we see that he does not correspond to our ideas. The accumulation of a large number of stressors. When a child comes under the “hot hand” and we “blow off steam”. There can be several reasons at the same time .Why should we not yell at our children? We pass on to them a model of behavior that they can use in their relationships with their children and with their spouse, in their relationships with others. Yelling humiliates our children and shows them the bad side of us. At this moment, we lose authority in the eyes of the child, because an adult is a person on whom the child can lean, and in a situation with screaming, he not only cannot lean on, but also feels fear, indignation, etc. Shouting also affects us, our perception us with our spouse and loved ones. Shouting affects the child’s self-esteem; he understands that this communication by shouting is applicable to him, and when another stranger does this, the child will not show that this cannot be done to him. He develops an understanding that he may be yelled at. In order to carry out quality work in this direction, I would like to suggest that you keep notes, a self-observation diary, in order to understand why exactly you are yelling, what childhood behavior causes an acute reaction in you, and what you should do for prevention. To do this, write down in what situations you scream, remember them, analyze them. Next, next to each situation, write down what you could do to avoid screaming in the future, what you could replace screaming with (write an alternative behavior). You can keep notes in free form. Or I can send you a detailed form to fill out, which will allow you to take a broader look at the situation, to do this, write to me in the message I want a diary, What's app, Telegram, by phone. Important! Very often we experience feelings of guilt after we shout. Try to stop self-flagellation, guilt, and your toxic thoughts. On)