From the author: The article was written for my website City for Life. I sometimes go to one of the women’s forums and recently saw a topic about moving. This is not even a topic, but a pain in the soul... Since the forum is open and anonymous, I will allow myself to touch on this topic in this article. The girl writes that she wants to speak out because she cannot tell her husband how bad she feels in her new place, in the city they moved to a few months ago. The girl had a good job, salary, team. The children were settled in. Loans have been paid off. Everything was going well. The way the girl described her former life is not life, but a fairy tale. And then, the husband said, “we’re moving to Tyumen,” and gave a bunch of reasons, benefits and prospects. The girl did not take these conversations seriously. And after some time, the husband announced that he had found a job in Tyumen, the salary was twice as high - “pack your things, wife...” But the wife didn’t want to, but didn’t tell her husband about it. We've moved. My husband is having a fairy tale again. And my wife feels bad there. And everything around is bad. And the only desire is to return. This is the story of the move. What should I advise her in such a situation? Let’s see what the forum participants advise. “You don’t need to change your life so radically... when you are no longer 20... and you already have a family... friends ...colleagues..” “Of course, it’s not necessary, but here, most likely, there is a lack of preparedness. It seemed that the husband was not serious. Sometimes it happens that we don’t want to hear or know something. Then this non-acceptance of the situation turns into depression.” “If there is no way to return, then tune in for the best...” “I propose to consider this move as an improvement in environmental conditions for the sake of children’s health...” “You are an adult, you have a family. Imagine children who go to a foreign city to study? It's harder for them. They get used to it and how!” “Try to find the positives - besides the fact that my husband likes it there and the air/roads are better - there is undoubtedly something else. If you find a job you like, it will immediately become easier. There are good people everywhere. Everything will get better." "Spring will come, then summer, and it will immediately get better. And the city will be seen from a different perspective.” And now the question. If you found yourself in a situation where your husband decides to move to another city, but you don’t want to. There is a protest inside, but - husband, family, small children - and you pack up and go. Six months pass in the new city, and the internal protest has not gone away. It’s one thing outside, another thing inside, everyday worries, but the children are the only ones who save. And you sink deeper and deeper into depression. Not knowing what to do with internal contradictions, you write to the forum. What do you want to receive in response from the forum participants? If you go back above and re-read the advice, would it become easier for you? Perhaps life will take on new colors and the sun will shine again. But, For some reason I thought of something else. It’s not easy for all of us to deal with our own difficult feelings, and even with others it can be unbearable. So we try to persuade the person - “come on, don’t be sour, everything is great.” Why do we do this? We don’t know what to do when a person is depressed? We don’t know, for the most part. And also, God forbid, suddenly everything that has accumulated in this person rushes out and washes us away. We won't swim out. We don’t know how to swim in this water. And this girl’s situation is not an isolated case when moving is not your burning desire. And there is so much here. A lot of feelings, a lot of unspoken things. After all, this is no longer a child who cannot stay when the parents move. This is an adult woman, but for some reason this woman cannot talk to her husband about what is bothering her. The internal feeling is “bad”, the rejection of the situation spills over into the external – it’s not working out with work, I’ve already changed several times. It’s as if this girl’s body was moved from Omsk to Tyumen, but she herself remained there, in Omsk, in that “life- fairy tale." It is difficult to accept Tyumen, because it is not here, not in Tyumen, but there, in Omsk. Moving is a difficult situation for adults and children and for any age, and there are a lot of factors that influence the perception of changes. And when this is not your own decision-desire, it is more difficult to accept what