Sadness is a healthy emotion. Many clients with depression at the beginning of psychotherapy talk about real, serious problems in their lives. Let me give you a few examples: loss of loved ones, separation, betrayal, loneliness, rape. I think you can easily continue this list. But in fact, none of the above will lead to real depression. The feelings a person experiences as a result of bereavement are sadness, sadness, regret, concern - and they are normal. These are the most real natural feelings that any person can and should allow themselves to experience. If you feel sad when breaking up with your loved one, congratulations, you are normal! If you experience sadness when remembering the death of a loved one, you are absolutely adequate. In the case of parting with a loved one, the emotion of sadness is quite natural. It is absolutely functional in such a situation to think like this: “I had a good time with her, I will miss her. I will miss her. But I will get through this and move on with my life.” The feelings behind these thoughts are very human. In this case, the person has a completely realistic view of the world. The feeling of sadness turns into a problem when a person does not allow himself to experience it. People often lock negative emotions inside themselves. For example, a woman whose husband died, for many months after his unexpected death, convinces herself that her husband is simply on a long business trip. Or after a serious gang rape, a girl doesn’t tell anyone about it and forces herself not to remember it. As a result, strong and painful negative emotions are not fully experienced; it is as if the person does not allow himself to feel it. Such a person simply carries these emotions around with him like a bag of stones. Unexpressed emotions, in turn, can lead to depression. That is, in essence, by prohibiting oneself from the absolutely natural emotion of sadness, a person develops a truly unhealthy state - depression. Depression is an unhealthy state. Depression is a disease caused by distorted thoughts. In depression, the degree of negative feeling does not correspond to the objective severity of the situation. A depressed person will think more negatively about events of any degree. If this is a small failure, then with depression it will turn into a big problem. If this is grief, then with depression it will become unbearable grief. If a disaster occurs, then with depression it will turn into a disaster. Well, the joy of a patient with depression will turn into indifference. For example, when breaking up with a loved one, a depressed person may think something like this: “This is unfair. She treated me very badly. I will never find my love again.” Such thoughts cause self-pity, a feeling of hopelessness, and thoughts about the future are not pleasing. These feelings affect a person. A failed interview can be interpreted by a person with depression as follows: “No one needs me or is interested in me. I'm a lousy employee. I don’t have a good job.” Depression is a negative way of thinking. This is a state when a person sees only the negative and devalues ​​the positive. This is when a person does not allow himself to feel the normal emotions of sadness, irritation, sadness. The paradox of depression is that with it a person feels only sadness and is in a bad mood most of the time. My opinion is this: you need to allow yourself to experience sadness, and then you will not bring yourself to depression. The presence of sadness is often more normal than its absence. 2023I will be glad to discuss this material with you in the comments! :)psychologist Larisa SarkisovaCognitive-Behavioral Psychotherapy, Schematherapyhttps://larisapsy.ru