For those who are planning to add to the family. There is an ancient Eastern parable about raising children: A young married couple with a 5-day-old baby came to a wise old man. Parents wanted to know when to start raising their first child. And in response they heard: “You are 9 months and 5 days late.” So, in order to establish close contact with your child for the rest of his life, you need to love and nurture him from the very conception. By the way, many women intuitively feel when conception has occurred, and the stripe test is not a surprise to them. If two stripes come as a surprise to you, try to be happy about it. We admit that for some young ladies this is not always a pleasant surprise, but in this case the new person - and he already is - feels a negative attitude towards himself. It sounds fantastic, of course, but it is true. Many adults who were born after their parents thought about their intrauterine fate are prone to neuroses, depression and suicidal tendencies. If you had such thoughts at the beginning of pregnancy, in the middle and towards the end, try to love your child and establish contact with him. The “programming” of his gender also has a great influence on the child. For example, a mother wants a son and that’s it, she is in every possible way tuning in to blue things - airplanes, cars, and then at the ultrasound at 18-20 weeks there is suddenly a surprise - a young lady. Mom is upset, and the baby is also sad, because mother and baby are one. Such a young lady grows up and subconsciously tries to become a boy, especially if a kind mother later tells her a couple of times how much she wanted a son. Well, now about prenatal education itself. Since ancient times, it has been the custom that a pregnant woman was surrounded with care, they tried to make her look at all the most beautiful things, and fulfilled all her whims. When a woman carries a child, he becomes one with her - the blood circulation becomes one for both, so if adrenaline and cortisol splashes in the mother’s blood - and these hormones are secreted by the adrenal glands in a state of stress - then these same substances reach the child. But if the mother can at least somehow react to her emotions - cry, for example, then the child does not have such a way. Plus, the uterus often becomes toned in such a situation - which further aggravates the baby’s condition, because blood flow to it decreases. Relatives and others need to be very careful with the expectant mother, but if they cannot do this, then the expectant mother herself must acquire Olympic calm and live by the principle “we’ll give birth, and then we’ll figure everything out.” A pleasant atmosphere, calm music, a friendly attitude and optimism are the best companions for a pregnant woman on the path to a successful birth. Obstetrician Grantley Dick Reed in his book “Childbirth without Fear” wrote that the conception and birth of a child is a short but important episode of a single whole life. person from conception to death. At this moment, the connection between generations is more clearly evident than ever. None of us can avoid the consequences of the prenatal period of our lives, the consequences of the way we were born and spent the first months of life. Neuroanatomists have proven that 90% of the brain matter is formed from the moment of conception to the 9th month of extrauterine life. A child’s brain is fully formed by the age of 3. That is why the first 18 months of life, starting from conception, have a huge impact on the rest of life. This is the foundation of the future, and what it will be like depends on the mother, from her pregnancy, childbirth and the period of “hand-gestation” until the end of the 9th month of extrauterine life. The moment of childbirth is much more difficult for a child than for you; nine months of serenity in the mother’s womb end with an unexpected ending for the child - the uterus contracts and begins to push him out of his habitual place. This is a huge stress for a child. There is a so-called matrix theoryGrof, which approximately describes the possible condition of the child at the time of birth and the possible impact of this condition on the child in the future. In the concept of prenatal (antenatal) human existence that he created, Stanislav Grof identified four main periods that are preserved in the human subconscious. Grof calls them basic prenatal matrices (BMPs) and characterizes in detail what happens on each of these matrices, what the child experiences, what are the features of living in each of these matrices, and how BMPs can influence human behavior in later life. Matrix of naivety This is a long period from conception until the mother's body prepares for childbirth. This is the time of the "golden age". If the course of pregnancy is not complicated by psychological, physical or other problems, if the mother desires and loves this child, he will feel very good and comfortable in her womb. He is nourished by his mother in the literal and figurative sense - not only depending on her physically, but also spiritually - with her love. This period ends (one would like to say that all good things come to an end!) with the appearance of warning chemical signals in the body, and then mechanical contractions of the uterus. The primary and habitual balance and harmony of existence are disrupted, the child experiences psychological discomfort for the first time. The Sacrifice Matrix After a period that is supposed to be a time of bliss, calm, silence, tranquility, “swinging in the ocean of the mother’s womb,” the time of testing comes. This is the time of the second prenatal matrix. The fetus is periodically compressed by uterine spasms, but the system is still closed - the cervix is ​​not dilated, exit is not available. The womb, which has been protective and safe for so long, becomes threatening. Since the arteries supplying the placenta penetrate the muscles of the uterus in a complex way, each contraction of the uterus limits the flow of blood, and therefore oxygen, and nutrition for the baby. He begins to experience a pervasive feeling of increasing anxiety and a sense of impending danger to life. Grof believes that at this stage the newborn baby experiences a state of horror and hopelessness. It is surprising that each person experiences this stage in his own way. Someone “makes a decision” to look for a way out and subordinates his entire fortune to this search. Someone shrinks in horror and makes every effort to return to their former peace. Someone falls into a state of inaction, experiencing a kind of paralysis. Some psychologists draw parallels between this matrix of intrauterine development and how in adult life a person begins to react to changed situations. The way an adult experiences a state of increasing anxiety, how he solves the problems of impending danger - the roots of his behavior, perhaps, are in the decision that he “made” in the mother’s womb. The struggle matrix The third stage is associated with the dilation of the cervix. An exit option appears. A very important point in psychological terms - first a person makes a decision - to look for a way out or not, and only then does the possibility of a way out appear! At this time, the child is doomed to begin the “struggle for survival.” Regardless of whether he “made” the decision to go out or to try with all his might to preserve the situation, uterine contractions push him out. He begins to gradually move along the birth canal. His body is subjected to crushing mechanical pressure, lacking oxygen and suffocating. Grof notes that these circumstances make him similar to mythological characters passing through complex labyrinths, or with fairy-tale heroes making their way through impenetrable thickets. If the psyche has the courage to overcome obstacles, if the internal determination to overcome has already matured, then passing through the birth canal will be for the child's first experience of a purposeful path. There is only one way - you have to be born. But how a person overcomes this path, whether they help him along the path or not - according to the author of the theory, much depends on these circumstances in his future life. According to Grof, it was during this period.