Absolutely any situation can be analyzed from the point of view of life positions in transactional analysis. Eric Berne derived four life positions, on the basis of which all kinds of life scenarios are created and unfolded. These positions: I “okay” I’m “not ok” You’re “okay” You’re “not ok” These positions demonstrate a global attitude towards oneself and the world. If “I’m ok”, then I’m “ok” under any conditions. This gives me powerful support, allows me to make mistakes, learn, relax, be happy and stand up for my rights. If I am “not ok”, the situation is the opposite. The same applies to other people, represented in the system of these positions as “you”. That is, the attitude towards oneself and others predetermines how a person will act, and how others will react to his actions, and therefore how events will unfold. A simple example : The girl forgot to pack her briefcase in the evening. If the mother has the “I’m ok” attitude, and the “you’re ok” attitude towards the girl, this situation will pass without scandals, outbursts of heavy emotions and insults. Most likely the mother will simply give the girl a pen and notebook so that the girl could make the necessary notes throughout the day. The mother will also explain the situation to the teacher and ask not to be strict with her and the girl about this. If the mother has the “I’m not ok” position, combined with the “you’re not ok” position, then this situation will unfold as a complete disaster for both. Mother will think that she is terrible as a mother, that she has the most stupid child in the world, that the teacher will definitely find fault with her daughter because of the lack of textbooks, etc. At the same time, she will drive herself into a rage, take it out on the girl, attack teacher. But the situation is the same! This is how decisive life positions are. All four positions are combined with each other in all possible options and lead to all possible scenarios of events. I am OK, you are OK; I am not OK, you are OK; I am OK, you are not OK; I'm not OK, you're not OK. Perhaps someone else will find a different decoding convenient: I'm OK, you're OK. I'm not OK, you're OK I'm OK, you're not OK I'm not OK, you not okay. In transactional analysis, a working model is adopted, which is based on the idea that at the earliest stages of development the child has already created his own life scenario. Also, already at this age, the child determines his basic positions in relation to himself and the world. Some authors even call these positions existential, because the further development of the child’s entire life really depends on them. Based on these positions, the child builds deep judgments about the value of himself and others in the world. How exactly combinations of life positions influence a person’s life “I am ok, you are ok” This position assumes that the child has a great chance of building a winning scenario. (Yes, not 100%, but still much more than in other positions). In this position, the child trusts his parents and does not hesitate to express himself, his desires and needs. He relies on his adults, explores the world with interest and perceives it as a friendly place full of opportunities. He is sure that other people are happy with him. In such a position it is very difficult to remain dissatisfied and unhappy. This is a healthy life position. “I am not ok, you are ok.” This position assumes that everyone else is initially better than the child. This means that they have more rights, luck, love, luck. They are better accepted, they get the best. They need to strain less to get what they want. And they take away all the good things. In order to get even crumbs from their wealth and pleasures, you need to take the position of a victim. With all the ensuing consequences. As a result, the ability to achieve what you want and build productive relationships with people is blocked, and life takes on an ugly, masochistic form. Depressive position “I’m ok, you’re not ok” This position assumes that the child is initially superior to others in all respects Reality says the opposite - it is impossible to be superior to others in absolutely all areas. So life is like thisposition leads to a continuous struggle with reality. It is necessary to humiliate others, use the dirtiest methods in order to be above them. Sooner or later, even the most devoted people around them turn away from people in such a position. And in a world without relationships with others, absolutely nothing exists. A position of superiority, persecution. This is a losing scenario. “I’m not ok, you’re not ok.” This is the most losing and painful of all positions. From here, the child urgently needs help, love, acceptance, but at the same time feels unworthy of them. Those around him in his eyes also inadequate and not healthy. Thus, no one will ever be able to help him. He will never satisfy his needs. All his life he will only disappoint others and be disappointed himself. His whole life will be saturated with rejection and pain. A hopeless position. The origin of a life position In TA there is no strict and unambiguous definition of when and why life positions arise. Eric Berne believed that life positions are secondary to early decisions and are formed from 3 to 7 years. For example, an infant perceives the mother’s aggressive behavior as a sign that she does not love him. This horrifies him. He makes a global decision: “I won’t risk loving anyone anymore, because my mother doesn’t love me. Loving is dangerous.” The infant then adopts the “I'm not ok” attitude so that it harmonizes with his earlier decision. The result is the belief: “No one will ever love me because I am flawed.” Parents are representatives of all men and women on Earth in the eyes of the child. He is absolutely sure that the conclusions about his parents apply to all other men and women. Therefore, if his mother does not love, then no woman will love him. If dad cannot be trusted, then no man can be trusted either. There are other points of view on the formation of life positions. For example, Claude Tiger assumed that these positions are formed already at the stage of breastfeeding. Ideally, this period for the child is a period of unity with the world: the world satisfies all his needs as quickly and in the best possible way. Therefore, the world is perceived by the baby as a continuation of himself, as a safe and happy place. In this case, the child takes the position “I’m ok, you’re ok.” Claude Steiner assumed that initially any child takes the winning position “I’m ok, you’re ok.” But later, depending on changes in the external environment, the child may change his position towards less advantageous ones. For example, when a mother, on the advice of a pediatrician, begins to feed the baby by the hour, and not at his request, the child may decide that the mother no longer loves does not perceive him, will certainly no longer protect him and satisfy his needs. He may feel abandoned and betrayed, in great danger - after all, he is not yet aware of time as a phenomenon and himself in it. For him, perhaps, his mother's refusal to feed him now is forever. Steiner even suggested that some babies may experience birth itself as a threat from the outside world. As a result, the position will naturally change to a less advantageous one. After all, the ideal, safe and harmonious environment is violated. He agrees with Berne regarding the importance of the life positions occupied by the child. But unlike Berne, he believed that initially the child takes a certain position, and only then his scenario decisions unfold. Thus, a life position is a set of fundamental beliefs about himself, other people and morality in general. On their basis, a person builds his behavior patterns. He uses these beliefs as a reinforcing justification for his actions in particular, and his scenario in general. Taken together, life positions participate in the formation of: a person’s character, the strategy of his behavior, ways of reacting and worldview. And in global terms, along the line of life, they shape his destiny. My selection of articles on this topic: Children and parents. Scripts. Transactional Subscribe to the blog Write your opinion about this in the comments: 8-918-253-73-83