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A client came to me with concern that her 4-year-old son had been suffering from a sore throat for six months. She looked upset, a little irritated and very worried, the treatment did not help, or it helped for literally 2 weeks, the child went to kindergarten and fell ill again. We began to explore the field/situations/people in which the child is located and what can affect him. The client expressed her thoughts about the kindergarten, relationships with teachers and children, maybe illness helps the child avoid being in the kindergarten. But upon closer examination, we found out that the child enjoys going to kindergarten and gets upset if he doesn’t get there. I, of course, began to clarify the state of the client’s marital relationship. Often the child in the family, as the most sensitive one, takes on the symptom of some unresolved problems in the system (of the family as a whole or a married couple). A sore throat often indicates unspokenness or prohibitions to say something, holding back a cry or words that could hurt the person they are intended for. I began to find out whether there is tension in the marital relationship? How are feelings (especially negative ones) located in a husband-wife pair? and so on. And here we did not find such tension that could have such an effect on the child. There were no reasons, but the symptom was there, and it was persistent. I must also say that the child himself expressed anger quite freely (one of his favorite toys is a tyrannosaurus), but his mother preferred to be nice and “brighten up the rough edges.” Often thinking that the exit is where the entrance is, I asked which exactly the day your son got sick and what happened on that day? A grin appeared on the client's face. She immediately remembered that on that day she and her son were visiting her mother. And that that day she was greatly hurt by her mother’s words, and out of habit, she quietly turned her hurt feelings and tears into offense. This interaction between them has already been going on for many years, from the moment when, as a child, her mother left her father for another man, and she was left to live with her father without her. I tried to find out what was preventing the client from talking to her mother about her offense, she said that all this was useless and there was no point, she had already despaired of being heard and decided that a close, warm relationship with her was not possible, but that it was only important to endure it and that’s all . And that’s all... and the enormous tension from unspokenness and pain that the child feels while in the field of these two women, and shows them this unresolved problem. We ended with the fact that it is sad to realize all this and very scary to not be heard, having become such a distant, but very necessary and important person, your mother. And how to take the risk of taking a step towards.

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