Situation: “Zhanna Vladimirovna, do you like my jewelry?” - standing in front of me is a Girl, tall, thin, with red curly hair, with glitter shadows under her eyes, in an oversized T-shirt with an anime design, with bright beads on the T-shirt, in wide jeans, with long arms and legs. Pretty. No longer a girl, but not yet a girl. Teenager. “Zhanna Vladimirovna, I don’t recommend you go to this (she tells me the school number) school,” and continues her story. “Abnormal children study there. They pushed me into a corner and kicked me. My head went numb. I don't understand why this is needed? I don't understand them at all. I don’t want to go to school.” The girl plunges into herself. He's thinking about something. And again he continues: “And in our class there is a girl who got herself a piercing. She was afraid that her parents would punish her. And they (the parents) didn’t even notice. Imagine. And she was hiding, worrying.” “And I have friends, look, I drew them.” The girl showed me her drawings. She draws beautifully. And our conversation continued. “How to help a teenager build relationships with peers if some children behave cruelly and dishonestly towards him, because he doesn’t look like everyone else and is not confident in himself?” Adolescence is special and for physiology, and for mentality, and for feelings. The child changes (remember the fairy tale about the “Ugly Duckling”). The formed attitude towards oneself collapses, the body changes and processes beyond the child’s control occur in it. Quite unexpectedly, the attitude of peers towards oneself becomes important: “What and how they say about me.” Peers form their own special picture of standards of beauty and recognition. How difficult it is for a teenager to fit into the paradigms of his peers. It is important to take into account that teenagers are constantly changing the standards of beauty and recognition. In addition, there is a great desire to be independent and autonomous. Decide on your own how to fill your time, what to do, when and what to have breakfast, lunch and dinner, what to wear, how to arrange your home, etc. During this period, support is important for the Teenager. There is no internal self-reliance yet, it is just being formed. Therefore, he looks for support outside. Those people who understand and give support become support. During this period, it is very important for the Parent to grow with the child. Recognize his natural and evolutionary desire to gain autonomy in those matters that correspond to his maturity. That Parent who continues to control the child and make decisions for the child comes into conflict with him. The conflict creates an atmosphere of coercion, emotional and physical pressure on the child. The teenager feels misunderstood and unrecognized. He forms an opinion about himself: “I am Bad. There’s something wrong with me.” And we remember that the Teenager has not yet found internal support, he is looking for support outside. Therefore, the Teenager will seek support from those who also live in a conflict environment and also feel Bad. Such teenagers unite and, finding support from each other, feel the strength to resist the “You’re Bad” opinion about them. I resist my internal perception of myself as “I am Bad”, such teenagers act cruelly towards others. In this association of like-minded people, who are not yet mature in the full perception of themselves, they are very afraid of a negative reaction and condemnation within their group, so they strive to conform to the general mood of the group . Such teenage children can be cruel because they suppress the energy of love in themselves and believe that They are Bad. The Parent who grows up with the Teenage Child is open and understands his own feelings and the feelings of the child, will be able to accept the child’s desire to be independent, accept the child’s self-doubts, understand the child’s condition, create an atmosphere of kindness and understanding. Such a child, receiving support from Native Hands, forms an attitude towards himself in the paradigm “I am a Good Person.” Such a child easily maintains relationships with peers and can resist the cruelty of peers in the way.