From the author: Ten myths about Gestalt Therapy (Based on the site [|) Published: 2008-08-01 16:46 Author Alexey Smirnov The first myth. About feelings. If you feel a feeling, express it! So, firstly, Gestalt teaches us that we need to express feelings! Yes, of course, in group or individual therapy, coaches and therapists often repeat, “how are you feeling now?” “Express it, say it!” As a result, there is a feeling that feelings are some kind of self-sufficient value in the gestalt and its expression should greatly change the world for the better. In fact, the expression of feelings is not a goal in itself, but is intended to 1) improve the client’s sense of his own feelings (if this is a problem); 2) improve communication in case of insufficient self-presentation (only in case of insufficient self-presentation); 3) realize the need behind the feeling. Third, essentially the most important, since endless “I’m angry with you,” although they are a step forward compared to “I have a headache,” but in essence they advance just as little if the logical question “what do you want?” » causes a confused reaction “to show feelings...”. For what? That's how they taught... Myth two. About needs. I felt the need to satisfy her! Thus, a rumor is born that Gestalt therapists reduce the human to the animal, and they themselves - such sociopathic types - did what they wanted. It was not like that, not like that. Of course, a neurotic squeezed by retroflection and introjects, having reached therapy, will perceive everything exactly that way, but... And this is very significant, the Gestalt approach calls for recognizing needs, and not satisfying them. Realized - good. Now choose whether to satisfy or wait, and if you satisfy, then how. Myth three. Again about needs. If I want something, then it is something that I lack. Indeed, we grew up in a country of scarcity, lack. And by inertia we continue, feeling the desire to identify it as a need to receive something. And we strive to receive - more love, more money, more success, more attention. The result is obesity, disgust and devaluation. Occasionally they remember the need to get rid of something. I don’t want this, it bothers me, I want to make sure this doesn’t happen. The result is calm, but somehow boring. So, just in case, try the third option - give something to someone, share, create, just because you want it. What if you like it? Myth four. About spontaneity. Actually, this is the development of myths number 1 and 2. Long live spontaneity! Let's be alive and spontaneous like children! That's what Perls taught! You give enuresis as the highest manifestation of spontaneity and authenticity! Hooray!!! Sound familiar? Yes. Do you want to turn a suppressed, suffering neurotic into a free, uninhibited psychopath, from whom those around him will suffer, and as a result, then he himself will begin to suffer again? Forward. Teach him to express to others all the feelings he experiences and perform all the actions he wants. Did it work? Hurray! Another compromise of the Gestalt approach has come out into the world. No, it’s not for nothing that psychoanalysts warn their clients that until therapy is completed, they should not make any serious decisions in business and personal life. Spontaneity, in fact, is when all this also finds its optimal form in this world, in a given situation and at a given moment in time. It may also turn out that at a given moment in time and in a given situation, the most optimal and most spontaneous thing would be to be patient and wait for a more opportune moment (just not for long, of course). True spontaneity is always voluntary, which is what distinguishes it from involuntary impulsiveness. Myth fifth. About self-sufficiency. I want to become a self-sufficient person, so as not to depend on anyone or anything, tell me, how can I achieve this?! This request, in one form or another, probably haunts all psychologists and psychotherapists. Some even try to teach it. How to achieve this? Yes, no way! This is impossible, a living person is notcan be absolutely independent, it does not exist on its own, but in the field/environment that surrounds it and its task is to learn to realize this and use it again consciously. This is what Gestalt teaches, but often to no avail. Myth six. About acceptance. I should be accepted for who I am! There must be someone who will do this! People are happy to stumble upon the thesis about the paradoxical principle of change in Gestalt therapy, i.e. that change occurs when I accept what is in me as it is. Yes, I accept, but I’m not PROUD of it! Agree that there are two big differences between accepting that it is and that it is so and being proud of it or admiring it. And not to mention the fact that the acceptance of qualities does not at all lead to the acceptance of actions in which these qualities are expressed. That. the famous Rogersian Christian, “every man is good” needs the addition “but he can behave like the last brute.” Acceptance in Gestalt only means recognizing the reality of this and the existence of this at the moment, but not accepting that it will continue to exist in the same form. “Yes, I accept that you are like this now, but now be so kind as to do it differently or get out of here!” - this is true acceptance in Gestalt therapy. Myth seventh. About understanding. I must understand the other and/or I must be understood. Happiness is when you are understood. All people strive for this happiness, and novice therapists strive to make their future clients happy with this. People! Understanding is a process of gestalt formation! Those. this is the selection of a certain figure from the background and conveying it as a message to another! No one but the client can carry out this process! And the therapist can only support the client in doing this. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule. An experienced or well-feeling therapist is able to go through this process within himself faster than the client and guess what this path might be and how it should end. But is this good for the client? Will this help him learn to be understandable and be understood? Myth eight. About self-disclosure. In psychotherapy you have to open up, and it’s so difficult, so scary and so painful! I'm so afraid of this! You're right to be afraid. Because in psychotherapy you don’t have to open up, you have to present yourself. And these are two big differences. The metaphor of disclosure involves creating a gap in the boundary through which the outside world, in the form of the therapist and/or other group members, has the opportunity to unhindered penetration into the person’s inner world. Did you feel the horror? Yeah. What then? It's very simple. They took that part of their inner world, made a cast, an image, a description from it and took it outside, outside, beyond their borders and presented it to others. Look, I have something there that reminds you of what ideas you have, how do you like this? And if they start poking around too actively, pawing at it, devaluing it, criticizing it, then they’ll get it right away: “I didn’t ask you for this!” Myth nine. About values. Values? So this is an introject! Yes, that’s exactly what I heard at one of the Gestalt therapy training groups. In short, if you see Buddha, kill him! No, of course, it also happens that the set of “values” that a person possesses does not actually belong to him and is perceived by him as something objectively important for all people in the world. So they say, “but this is important, this is necessary, it’s customary, it’s like that for everyone.” But values ​​are completely different. This is mine, individual, this is what I love, what I chose to stick to, what I am ready to fight and die for, because without it I will no longer be me. Some schools of Gestalt therapy pay little attention to this. With the light hand of Perls, “character”, as something stable, permanent, sustainable, became synonymous with pathological. However, he meant something completely different - habits, stereotypes, first of all, really imposed from the outside. But he simply didn’t get around to the experience that a person gains in life and learns to appreciate it. Thank God, Isidor Fromm was also there..