From the author: The Internet and, in particular, social networks have existed long enough to highlight some trends and psychological nuances of escaping to the Internet. Everything is medicine and everything is poison. The only difference is in the dose. Paracelsus In this article, I do not at all plan to devalue what has become an integral part of our lives. I myself have been actively using many of the capabilities of the Internet for a long time. So first I will focus on the positive aspects of social media. And then how it turns out..) One of the basic human needs is the need to belong. We all need to be part of something bigger. Belonging combines two basic needs: security and connectedness. The sensitive period for meeting these needs is the period 0-2 years (for security) and 2-4 years (for connectedness). Saturated at this age, it allows you to rely on this in adulthood, satisfying other, later needs. But our society is very traumatized. Traces of war, acting out traumas from generation to generation, perestroika, general instability. Not so long ago, in a rare family, a child was not separated from his mother before the age of 2 years. In a rare family, the mother could give closeness and warmth, because she was deprived of them herself. We grow up, and the needs continue to be hungry, but unlike childhood, they are difficult to satisfy. At the same time, it takes a lot of work to satisfy them. Security is both your own home and financial stability. Connectedness is a relationship that needs to be built and nurtured. All this takes a lot of strength, which is in short supply among survivors of developmental trauma. And then voila! There are easy ways. After the collapse of the union, this method was predominantly vodka. But if she poorly satisfied the need for connection (the connection with the bottle is very strong), then there was a complete failure in terms of security. A person could lose his job and a roof over his head. For some, this fact was a compelling argument not to start. Or even to stop. Social networks are very attractive as an object of addiction. Firstly, accessibility and speed are prerequisites for its formation. And secondly, unlike a bottle, you can actually build intimacy in them or fuel an existing one. But much more often they immerse you in the illusion of pseudo-intimacy, thereby leading you further and further from reality. Most often, people who become dependent on social networks are people who feel different from everyone else, worse than others. They are prevented from building intimacy in reality by toxic shame and fear of rejection. Shame is significantly reduced during distance communication, when we do not see the interlocutor’s face or even hear his voice. After all, then you can come up with any reaction to yourself. In communication on the Internet, the projection mechanism is actively involved. And the shorter the phrases (especially if they are eliminated altogether and replaced with likes), the easier it is to think of everything else. After all, this is not prevented by the tone of voice, a frowning brow or other markers that in reality are perceived by us as a threat. The social network is personalized, and, therefore, itself is perceived as a person with whom a relationship is “built.” In life outside the web, the phase of pseudo-intimacy, the so-called “fascination with a partner,” is quite short. And we need to face our own anger that a person does not live up to our expectations in some way in order to move on. Into real intimacy. In the virtual world, when encountering aggression, there is a great temptation to find a new friend among thousands and thousands of people living online, creating the illusion that there are relationships without aggressive feelings. Moreover, such addiction, unlike alcohol, does not cause such a strong degradation so that security collapses. It simply turns you away from life in reality in small steps, transferring it into fantasy. Into the fantasy of a relationship that is never destined to happen... Until you give up the illusion fueled by fairy tales and myths: there is mine in the world