I usually don’t work with children. I recognize the hard and time-consuming work. I have a lot of respect for child psychologists. And I think that child psychologists are much more professional than specialists working with adults (this is just my opinion). And therefore, if they come to me with children, I recommend my colleagues, child psychologists. But this is a special case. Perhaps because long-term work was not planned. And only one diagnostic meeting was needed. Well, why not have one meeting with the child. And this time I changed my stereotypes. The mother of this girl turned to me. As it turned out, the young woman’s problems were very serious and, as it seemed to me, they should have affected the children too. Although there was initially no request regarding her children, a girl aged 9 and 5 years old, I decided to meet with the children. So, Sania, 9 years old. A mother and a child came to see me. Lively active smiling girl. He looks openly and trustingly. She looked around my office with curiosity and began to listen to me with interest. Then she nodded her head and we were left alone. Knowing my mother’s story, I listen carefully to Saniya. Beautiful girl. But why are there no friendships with boys? Very active, easily enters into relationships. But why isn't he friends with girls? Very affectionate, flexible. But why isn't she loved? She’s obviously smart, but why isn’t she successful at school. Just questions and no answers yet. - Do you like fairy tales? - Yes. - What’s your favorite fairy tale? - ... (embarrassed) - We can make up our own fairy tale. - What do you mean, our own? – big round eyes looked at me in surprise. I take my magic cards with magic pictures, and the action begins. Magic. Magic. Sania chooses several cards: Page. Emperor. The Steadfast Tin Soldier. Magic Seed. And a fairy tale is born. Once upon a time there was a Page. He had many responsibilities, but little love. He was given tasks every day. Then dig up the garden. Deliver that letter to the neighboring Kingdom. To entertain the Princess. And then somehow they gave him a task - to find the Magic Seed, because the Emperor’s beloved daughter had many desires, but could not have them. The Page was confused and didn’t know what to do. I didn’t sleep that night, thinking about how he could find this Seed. And suddenly at night his friend the Steadfast Tin Soldier came to him: “Don’t worry, my little friend,” he said to the Page. - I will help your trouble. I know where the Magic Seed is.” Many trials and difficulties befell the Steadfast Tin Soldier. But he still reached the Dark Forest, fought with the Beast and got the Magic Seed for the Princess. And as soon as the Princess took the Magic Seed in her hands, she immediately made her cherished wish. And the Princess wanted only one thing: to marry the Prince. The fanfare sounded, the heralds shouted, the Prince was entering the Kingdom - to invite the Princess to marry. And the Princess and the Prince lived happily ever after. And the Page continued to serve at the Court. I carried out various assignments, the work did not end. He married a simple girl and lived in a village. The fairy tale ended. The girl is clearly tired, but happy that the fairy tale turned out well. “It seems like you are very angry with your little sister,” I asked. “Yes,” Sania almost shouted. She doesn't do anything. He just sits and asks. I have to bring it to her, serve it. And it flies at me. She is very lazy. I’ll have to carry her to school with me, since she doesn’t like to go. And the school is very far from our house. But I like to do everything around the house. I can cook scrambled eggs. Do you want me to cook it for you too? It will be delicious. “You feel like a Page who has many responsibilities,” I continue. “Yes.” But I am the eldest and must look after Zulya. Zulya ruins everything, but they punish me. - How do they punish you? - Dad hits me with a belt. Mom - with her palm. It hurts, but I endure and don’t cry. The girl clenched her lips and fists. As if preparing for an attack. - You know, for some reason I don’t like the end of this fairy tale. It seemed to me that the Page was somehow unhappy. Let's come up with another ending for the fairy tale. “Yes, yes,” Sania nodded her head actively. - Which one? And we came up with, already together, another fairy tale, where the Pageturned out to be not a Page at all, but a Princess. The Magic Seed bewitched her, and the Princess (Page) married the Prince. The Emperor now has an Empress. And the Magic Seed settled on the windowsill in the bedroom of the Prince and Princess. And when the Princess felt bad, she could turn to the Magic Seed, and she immediately felt light and joyful. But the Steadfast Tin Soldier was not in the new fairy tale. The Princess doesn’t need to be steadfast and tinny, she’s a girl. PS: The next day my grandmother called me and told me the news: for the first time in several years, my mother punished her youngest daughter instead of her eldest. The eldest, Sania, was not even touched upon in this story. PS: PS: The family left for permanent residence in another country, and from there the news came to me: Sania went to a new school. On the very first day she was accepted into the theater club. And four boys fell in love with her at once. Dad takes her to school, since her parents decided that she doesn’t know the road yet and needs care. The Princess will find her Prince, I thought, savoring the news. Snezhana, 8 years old. Lives in a complete family. Goes to school. I have a younger brother, 1.5 years old. The meeting took place as part of family therapy. The whole family was at the session. Snezhana is usually indifferent at meetings, rarely speaks much. At first I was very scared and behaved very quietly. But then I became bolder and could allow myself to walk around the office, draw, and pick up toys. Lately, during meetings, he plays with his brother. The day before there was a very tense session, there was a lot of anger and hatred. And I thought that the family needs unification. The members of this family clearly lack symbolism. The decision about the fairy tale came spontaneously and was accepted by Snezhana with great enthusiasm. - What is this? - the girl asked, without taking her eyes off my magic cards, approaching me. - These are Magic Cards. Today I invite you to come up with a Fairy Tale together. The adults were a little shy, but seeing Snezhana’s reaction, her willingness to play, how easily and quickly she remained in our circle, they agreed. They chose Cards: Magic Sword. Magical forest. Cave. Adventurers. Giant. (some cards acquired their names during the game, very close to the original). The fairy tale did not work out. The girl looked at the sword as if spellbound. And she said that in order to protect herself, you need a knife-sword, you need a cave and wealth. There was a lot of cruelty, attacks, cannibalism in the fairy tale. - It seems that you feel weak, defenseless in front of others. And it seems to you that having a knife can protect yourself. Or you can hide in a cave, or you can have magic - wealth. And then everyone will respect you. - Yes. It’s scary everywhere, you can kill with a knife,” and she continued to hold the Magic Sword Card, as if danger was nearby. When the parents heard this, they joined the game and began to remake the fairy tale. The fairy tale was reconstructed with a creak. The girl categorically refused to part with the Sword. But a Magic Horse appeared, which is very similar to an Angel, protecting the peace of small children. When the Angel is nearby, nothing is scary. Work with this family will continue. And I think that we will devote many more sessions to the fear and lack of security of this little fragile girl. The main thing is that she has loving parents who are ready to change, ready to devote one hour of their time to themselves and their children, staying in the psychotherapist’s office. It will take a lot of time until the Monster living inside the child disappears and Love, Trust, and Care take its place. Two girls. Almost the same age. Almost the same fate. And how differently they protect themselves from the dangers that the World seems to bring. One is very sensitive and responsive, especially in need of her mother’s care. Feels small and defective. He tries to strengthen his I with purely masculine qualities (perseverance and tininess), denying the feminine in himself. She painfully realizes that her little sister is loved more, and maybe if she were a boy, she would be loved. She easily adapts to others, sincerely believing that this is the only way to gain favor with herself. The world of the other girl is filled with fear, anger,