The heaviest burden that falls on a child's shoulders is the unlived life of his parents. Carl Gustav Jung Often the unresolved problems of parents fall heavily on the fragile and tender shoulders of children. Was your mother deprived of love and care as a child? The child turns into a psychological parent. The father does not get emotional, sexual pleasure with his wife? The daughter becomes a psychological, if not a real, spouse. The parent was unable to realize his dreams? This means that the child is a platform for the embodiment of unmanifested ambitions. Does the father feel inferiority, inferiority, pressure at work? The family turns out to be a convenient place to release anger, irritation, and rage. The mother cannot set boundaries with her abusive husband, decide to divorce, has many “secondary benefits” in the form of having a “full-fledged” family, the status of a married woman, sex? Children suffer from insecurity, are traumatized by violence from the father and the immaturity of the mother. With an illiterate divorce, many unresolved problems of parents and relatives, the child becomes a battlefield for adults, used to act out childhood traumas. The grandmother is empty, lonely in her soul, there is no joy, recognition, or realization ? The child plays the role of an “outlet”, a dear blood, but in reality the psychological resource is pumping out of him at full speed. Are parents burdened with stereotypes, obligations, irrational beliefs that were adopted from their mothers and fathers out of fear, guilt, desire to please and please? Children continue to carry delusional ideas that are incompatible with real life. I often hear from parents that they feel guilty when they realize how much harm they have caused to the child because of their personal difficult stories. Here I can recommend treating yourself from the past with love, understanding, and tenderness. After all, the man did what he could, what he knew, what he was capable of. And now, continuing to blame yourself, the violence against yourself will only continue, and the problems will not be solved. Therefore, it is worth getting out of this vicious circle of self-recrimination and just start working on yourself, solving your personal problems. For some, it is easier to close their eyes to reality, “unsee” the truth, sweep the garbage under the rug, deny the importance of psychotherapy: “This is all nonsense!” This is how psychological defenses work. And it is important to know that they will work as long as there is a resource for it. When it ends, fierce trash will begin in the form of emotional and physical illnesses. Ignorance of the law does not exempt you from responsibility for non-compliance. How do you feel after reading this??