1. Caring for the child’s dignity Forming a child’s sense of self-worth is an important part of upbringing. The sense of self-esteem developed in childhood will have a significant impact on the lifestyle your child chooses and maintains in the future. A child who is confident that he deserves to be treated well, to have good living conditions, will form relationships with people of a certain environment and of a certain quality, and will plan and implement a lifestyle that meets certain standards. One of the important factors influencing the formation of a sense of dignity is the respectful treatment of the child by the people around him. And not only within the family, but also in preschool and school. It must be borne in mind that a child of both preschool and school age does not yet have sufficient life experience, and, as a rule, there is a shortage of parental behavior models showing how to act correctly and defend oneself in situations where dignity is under threat. Therefore, children need protection and behavioral models from parents and other adults. This means that it is important for parents to be attentive to what kind of relationships the child has in the school environment with teachers, educators, and peers and to react in a timely manner. What happens Unfortunately, problematic situations that arise in children's institutions are not as rare as we would like . The situations encountered can be divided into the following subgroups: Humiliation, insult of a child by a group of children, or the class as a whole (if there is a negative leader); Systematic humiliation or persecution by one child from the class, a group of children from the class, or the class as a whole. Insulting a child by a teacher or teacher ( emotional or physical) - one-time or systematic Threats and blackmail from an older child for the purpose of extortion (for example, money) What helps a child cope The first most important factor in helping a child cope with such situations is the opportunity to tell their parents about what is happening. This is why it is so important to maintain a trusting relationship with children. If criticism and condemnation of the child are often used in the family, then he most likely will not talk about what is happening, since he may already feel guilty about what happened. For example, he may have been punished by a teacher for a bad deed and is afraid of receiving additional punishment from his parents for it. Or, he may believe that he was punished fairly and not take into account that any punishment for an offense on the part of a teacher should not humiliate his human dignity (including in accordance with the law). The second factor is the timeliness and adequacy of parental intervention. It is necessary to remember that if you put off resolving the situation, you will be left with an “emotional residue” from what happened, which will be more difficult to deal with later. The third thing that must be taken into account is that, despite not all the outrage over what happened, intervention should not be aimed at taking revenge on the offender, but at restoring and correcting the situation from the child’s point of view. How parents can help. An example of correct action on the part of parents. Let’s assume that a certain Petya , a 1st grade student, was rude to teacher Olga Petrovna in the school cafeteria. In response to this, the teacher tore his ears. Petya S. is in first grade. During the second break, Petya goes to the school cafeteria to eat his breakfast. On this day, events did not unfold as usual. The boys from the class took the compote from him. Petya decided to ask for help. His class teacher Elena Sergeevna also had breakfast. The teacher of another class, Olga Petrovna, was sitting next to her. Petya turned to Elena Sergeevna. But he didn’t even have time to express his problem when Olga Petrovna intervened. “Get out of here,” she said. PeterHe used her own example for self-defense and replied: “Perish yourself.” Perhaps he assumed that in a minute his compote would be useless to save. The teacher was offended and tore his ear out in public in the cafeteria. Having learned from the child about what happened at school, the mother decided the next morning to clarify the situation, acting “hot on its heels.” Arriving at school, she found the head teacher of the elementary school and offered to organize a joint meeting with the teacher and the child to clarify the issue. The head teacher agreed. So, the four of them met. -Mom asked Elena Sergeevna: “Is it really true that you tore my son’s ear in the dining room?” -Olga Sergeevna answered: “Yes.” (There was nothing else she could do, because there were too many witnesses) - “Then I suggest you apologize to me and my child.” In this situation, Olga Sergeevna had no choice but to apologize. Otherwise, the situation could have turned out worse for her. At the same time, she had a chance to realize that she was wrong, since she met with two adults (meaning her mother herself and the school head teacher) who had a different point of view on how to resolve problems that arose with students. What was valuable in the mother’s behavior was the fact that she chose one main goal, namely to correct the situation for the child, and did not, for example, demand the dismissal of the teacher, deprivation of a bonus, a reprimand, and did not criticize her in front of the head teacher for improper behavior. Correcting the situation for the child consisted of an apology. It is also a good rule that the first to apologize is the one who first committed the wrong action. The second step in this situation would be to help the child find other behavioral choices in similar stressful situations. Of course, this is not easy for a seven-year-old child. It is not easy for an adult either - in a situation where you are insulted, to find a way to solve the problem and not respond to humiliation with humiliation. Here you already need a high ability to reflect. Meanwhile, the mother’s behavior in this situation was an example for the child of how exactly one can decently talk to someone who created a problem with offensive behavior. When a psychologist can help Situations in which the child’s dignity could be infringed are varied. They are often confusing, especially in cases where many participants are involved in the conflict (for example, a child, a class, a parent committee, a teacher, a director, and maybe even a RONO inspector), and in cases where the conflict has been going on for a long time and has managed to accumulate a large number of events, and the participants in the conflict hardly remember who started it first, what they really wanted, etc. Also, the problem is sometimes confused for the reason that the participants in the conflict do not express their own needs, which “suffered” as a result of the conflict, and perhaps are not aware of them. In this case, the help of an “outside observer” is needed, who will professionally help put everything in its place. Also, resolving conflicts with the teacher, the child’s teacher or the administration of the institution where the child is studying can be difficult because parents do not know how to act correctly so that the child does not suffer, since he continues to study with the same teacher, attend the same group the same teacher. There should be a psychologist working at the school where your child is studying. If there is no psychologist, there must be a social teacher. His tasks also include helping parents and children in difficult situations. If you or your child have difficulties communicating with the class teacher, teacher, teacher, class - or you feel that a conflict is brewing, or it has already taken place - contact them for professional advice and assistance. 2. If there are no friends. Starting from about 4 years old, relationships with peers become significant for a child, and his path to society begins. If before this period children played “nearby in the sandbox,” now they begin to “play.