I'm not a robot

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I'm not a robot

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Spring... It's time to clean up the house, clear away the trash... What to do? How to cope? Why can this be so difficult? How do we feel when the time has come to do it? - When I put things in order, I feel how with every cleaned centimeter I am freed from everything superfluous, unnecessary, alien, from everything that prevents me from moving on... And then I feel pleasure. - When I throw away or give away unnecessary things, an empty, clean space opens up in front of me. I'm scared to look at him. I don’t know what to do with him, where to go, what to hold on to. Now I am responsible for my own path and do not cling to what slowed me down. I find it difficult to maintain balance. - When I get rid of things that connect me to the past, I am left with something that has no material evidence to support my memories. - I feel my loneliness. - I feel my power over the past and over my life. Now I decide for myself what to give to whom, what to throw away, what to keep. Sometimes guilt washes over me. But with each bag of trash she goes away, and her confidence becomes greater. “Now that I have put the house in order, I will have to do important things that I have planned for a long time.” Previously, I only dreamed about them on long winter evenings. Now it's time to make them. I used to be afraid and put it off. After all, the most important task ahead was clearing out the rubble of the house. Doing something new is scary, because there is a lot of uncertainty, anxiety and risk in it. - When I wash the windows, the event horizon begins to be clearly visible through them. I see the prospect of movement. And at the same time, I'm afraid that now that all this is out in the open, I'll have to act. I can no longer hide behind cloudy glass. There is free, clean space in front of me. The spring wind blows through the window. It is both annoying and pleasing. And, after cleaning, something else related: - When I pay tax on a car that I sold a long time ago, but the Tax Office decided that I still owe them something, - I pay for exemption from past mistakes and what used to make me regret. I paid and I never want to think about it or regret it again. Everything has already been paid for. Let's take the next step. It's time to fill our plans with flesh and blood and populate a new world with them. I am happy and scared... A space of freedom, air and a wide world opens up before me. I am “invisible and free”, like Margarita from the novel by M. Bulgakov, when she is a witch flies over Moscow. Invisible - because my new qualities and paths have not yet manifested themselves. And because the old me is no longer visible, in its place is another... I am free... Free - because past traumas no longer hold me. What to do with this freedom? I am going to meet myself... Sincerely, Maria Maksimova-Stolpnik - psychologist , art therapist. Online and in person Moscow Book a consultation by phone 8 (909) 669 89 18, or here Your psychologist Maria Maksimova-Stolpnik

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