I'm not a robot

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I'm not a robot

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Privacy - Terms

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A lot has been written about feelings by many, so I would like to start by indicating my interest in this topic. The first thing that is born is that I am a human being, therefore, I have to come into contact with feelings every day. This contact makes me alive, because feelings carry vital information about what is happening to me. Based on my feelings, I determine when I have enough of everything, I am filled and exhale, and when I need something, I begin to experience discomfort, I take a breath. For example, today, instead of invigorating coffee, my day began with a portion of no less invigorating feelings: sadness over unfulfilled dreams of being noticed, fear of allowing oneself to appear, and somewhere at the bottom of the cup with this bitter drink, interest in oneself, who wants to speak and be heard. And experiencing all these feelings, I felt the need to breathe, as if my silence, inaction and self-accusation were drowning me, depriving me of vital oxygen. Then I make a choice on which of my feelings to rely on so as not to completely choke. Sadness gives me the right to feel sorry for myself and already covers me with a wave of despair: “How hard it is for you, it’s not in your power!”; fear paralyzes me: “Keep your head down, nothing good will come of this!”; and finally, interest: “What if you succeed? What will happen if you take a risk? And this feeling, excited by novelty (“What will it be like if I declare myself?”), gives me the strength to float to the surface. And suddenly I begin to notice around the lifebuoys from my surroundings/environment/field (can be designated by in different ways, but the essence will not change, but about that another time): “I will not take away your hope - start declaring yourself,” “I wish you to follow the pioneers. I want you to find something of your own.” I grab the life preserver, i.e. support, mobilize my strength - self-support, push, and here it is - the long-awaited breath; I am writing this article, I want to share my awareness about feelings, about how you can trust them and swim from the very bottom, remaining alive. But there is another experience when a person stops relying on his feelings or feels their absence: emptiness, insensibility , lifelessness. In my work, I often encounter this psychological problem. This is another reason why I am writing about a topic where so much is said. “I don’t feel anything, I don’t know if I’m good now or not, and what I want. I don’t understand what it means to feel my body, I understand that it is alive only if I overload it with sports,” says one of my clients, whose arms are bruised and there are many fractures in her body. “I freeze next to my mother, turn into a statue, and all my senses are turned off. I don’t understand how to behave with her and I do what she wants, but for some reason it doesn’t make her or me feel good,” - an example when the lack of reliance on one’s feelings leads to the destruction of relationships. “ I do not live, but exist. Life has lost all its colors, only a gray background remains. Life is passing by, and I would like to rejoice, enjoy it like others, but I can’t, something in me has broken” - this is the experience of another girl who has lost touch with her feelings and vitality. These selective examples illustrate the loss of contract (contact ) with feelings. There are as many reasons why people decide (consciously or unconsciously) not to touch their feelings as there are people, because everyone's experience is unique. There are some general mechanisms for interrupting the feeling process, but I will try to pay attention to them in the next article. And in conclusion, I want to return to myself and my feelings. In the process of writing the article, I greedily took a breath, my lungs filled with air, my shoulders straightened, and the energy in my body was transformed into this text. Now it’s deep night outside, my thoughts are captured on paper, there’s a feeling of satisfaction and fatigue inside me, and I exhale. I don't know whether I will be noticed, whether someone will hear me, but the unknown.

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