From the author: Life after divorce. How to help? What to strive for? “Marriage is therapeutic. If you can’t stand being alone, don’t get married.” Carl Whitaker When working with binuclear families, any specialist has to deal with increased emotional reactivity. What is the reason for this? In my opinion, there are two reasons: the process of grieving (the love and hope placed in the relationship suddenly died), and the process of facing one's wounds or areas of inner loneliness that suddenly suddenly become exposed. It’s like with a cabinet that you had to support so as not to fly away... then you move away, the cabinet falls - it hurts, and you’re on your springs bang-bang-x into the ceiling, everyone is in pain and the hope of salvation is lost. This process is inevitable happens, but for some it lives, is accepted and assimilated, and that means the marriage continues, while for others it is a divorce. There are also intermediate, not very pleasant options, but about them in other articles. So, this very reactivity affects the process of merging parental and marital. It merges - so much so that when spouses talk about children, they forget about them and begin to sort things out among themselves. What to do about this? Here, in addition to various technical techniques, the personal stability of the therapist and the internal desire to separate the marital from the parental are important. Just talk about parenting and interaction only. When the focus shifts, constantly bring the process back to the central theme. In my opinion, it will be possible to talk about relationship issues at least after the sixth meeting, provided that the family wants it. Spouses can divorce, like a man and a woman, but never as parents... To be continued....