“I live with my mother, I have never had a normal relationship, there are no children and probably never will be. Nobody loves me, I'm tired of being alone. My friends didn’t even come to my birthday, although 35 is a big milestone, how could they forget about me? I'm tired of work, I've been in the same position for almost 10 years. I’m tired of everything.” Often such women turn to psychologists. With a dull look, they no longer care what they look like (and they look much older than their years, they dress inconspicuously - impersonal styles, brown and beige colors without accessories, or they dress exactly like just like their mother, early wrinkles and excess weight are a common thing for them). They don’t ask for a raise at work, don’t leave a boring position, don’t study, but why? (They find it useless). They drive these at work. Men look indifferently or want to take care of such a “mom”, but do not feel passion. Girlfriends also “travel”, either asking to babysit the children or asking for help, but they are in no hurry to help themselves. From year to year, the same music, the same style of clothing, the same loneliness. There are thousands of such women. And they are looking for a prince charming on dating sites, but they can’t find them. I want to take them by the shoulders and shake them, shaking out the layer of dust that covers their dreams, desires, needs, the very desire to live and develop. A woman can live her whole life taking care of other people’s children, living up to the expectations of an aging mother and relatives, and it’s normal to live only in one’s fantasies, where one often goes, hiding from the “rough” reality. This is the case when psychotherapy is not just recommended - it is mandatory, because it is simply impossible for such women to escape on their own .When we want to change, our environment begins to hold us back. And if you have already tried and failed, then you are much weaker than the system around you. Need outside support. And remove those who refuse to support or openly interfere (if you’re afraid to break up forever, then give yourself a period of 3-6 months not to communicate, you don’t need to put pressure on yourself, but you also can’t become limp). Even if it’s a mother. What will you have to do in such cases? - honestly answer the question: “Do I really need my life and my happiness and development?” Because if you don’t need it, then live in peace with your mother. Maybe in old age you will get a dog. - who is stopping you from developing, who is hostile towards you when you become brighter? This person needs to be removed from you for 3-6 months, no matter how close he is to you now. - who can support you? Who is happy about your development and positive changes? Communicate with him more often. - Understand yourself. "Who am I? What am I? Where am I going? What do I want in life? – including “What music do I want to listen to, what movies do I want to watch, what jewelry/clothes do I wear?” - what can I do for myself? How can I take care of myself? What should I do for my development?Imagine yourself and your environment as a complex molecule - you are all connected. But as soon as one atom is removed, the system disintegrates or turns into other substances. Change yourself and the whole system will change. If my clients succeed, that means you can too! [This also applies to men] *consent to disclose the case has been obtained from the client.