In Gestalt therapy, one of the main tools is awareness. Sometimes awareness is enough for changes to begin to occur. A mother came in with her three-year-old son. Mom is worried about 3 problems: the child throws tantrums, the child is very attached to her, the child almost does not speak. The problem that the client came with will definitely appear during the consultation. The problem stems from a learned pattern of behavior that becomes outdated when conditions change. In counseling, the client demonstrates to you behaviors that support their problem. Task: to make his behavior model obvious to the client. Just realize the fact. If only the parent comes to the consultation, then we often hear a description of the problem. If a parent comes with a child, we also see this problem in their interaction. What happens during a consultation? The woman tells how the three above-mentioned problems manifest themselves in the family. And the boy is looking at the toys that I offered him. Then he comes up to his mother, holds out the toy: “Ma-a-a-a-ma!” Maaaaah! Ma! The woman answered him, taking the toy, explaining what kind of toy it was, what it was, and what it was for. The woman then turned to me and continued describing the problem. From the story it turned out that the boy practically does not speak, although ... he recently turned 3 years old and the child is fine from the point of view of the speech organs. The speech therapist said that this is normal until the age of 3. And the woman up to 3 years old was calm. And the fact that her son hardly spoke stopped bothering her. Only the child’s tantrums when he stayed with other relatives... And also, the child is too attached to her!!! The client continued the story, the boy came up to her again, whiningly holding out another toy: - Ma-a-a-a-ma! Maaaaah! Ma! The woman took another toy that the child was pulling towards her and told him about it. The son came up for the third time and started again: “Ma-a-a-a-ma!” Maaaaah! Ma! She said: “Yes, you want to eat. We'll go soon." A Gestalt therapist understands how the client’s problem manifests itself right in the office. The child and mother have already so clearly demonstrated their way of interaction, which supports the problem, that the time has come to say about it. - Do you realize that what is happening HERE NOW, what are you doing? - No. - How do you find out what the child wants when he approaches you? - I understand him. This is how mom supports all three interaction difficulties that bother her and that she addressed. - You understand very well what’s wrong with him, you speak to him and for him. If I were your mother, I wouldn’t understand what your baby wants either. And he also gets angry if he is not understood. Your mother perceives this as hysterics and refuses to be with him. How does this resonate with you? - Yes, it does, that’s really true. The client learned to intuitively understand the child’s needs very well and did not notice how she took on the function of speaking for the child. And the child has no need to speak if the mother understands him perfectly. But that's just mom. What about those around you? The grandmother does not have time to guess, and the child is not accustomed to explaining what is happening to him and what he wants. If the mother continues to speak for the child, he continues not to speak. The first experience of interaction occurs with the mother, then this experience is projected onto others. What does the mother support in the child when she says that she understands him? His affection or dependence? Next, we explored what the client would do if she didn’t understand what her baby wanted. She would ask questions: “What do you want, explain in words, tell me.” With these questions, a woman can support in the child the desire to be understood, and not the desire for “the other to guess what’s wrong with me.” And then, staying with his grandmother, the baby will apply the experience of how to be understood, and he will not be so pathologically attached to his mother. And if now ONLY MOM understands him, how can he not be so attached to her? Speech gives!