Life wouldn't be better without you: how cool that the same GOD who created mountains and oceans, galaxies and the sun, looked at you and thought - the world needs like you! Adult children of alcoholics often forget about this, they live as if they are an accidental misunderstanding, squeezed into the ranks of the “NORMAL”. For example, they try to guess what is normal in life and relationships and what is not. They don't know this for sure because most of their experiences growing up were associated with destructive behavior patterns. What is "normal"? To the chagrin of many, there is no such thing. It should be replaced by the concept of functionality - dysfunctionality. ACAs have two fantasies: - about the ideal “I”: I should be an ideal child, parent, husband, employee; - about ideal others: others should be ideal children, parents, husbands, employees. But there is no ideal, and then it’s clear , where the energy and time of the ACA is wasted - it’s all spent on self-condemnation or on judging others, because everything is not going the way they planned. Conflict is brewing! A person with a healthy psyche knows how to behave in a conflict situation: enters into confrontation and resolves the conflict. ACAs do not know how to solve problems, they know how to “ignore” them and avoid them. By idealizing the world, ACAs find it difficult to start new things and bring them to completion. The family is the place where you can learn how to do this, but if the family was destructive, then there was nowhere to learn. ACAs lie even when it is not difficult to tell the truth, because it is important for them to “look normal” in the eyes of others. What can be opposed to this?1 . Don’t ask yourself and others: “Is this normal?” 2. Check with your feelings and your values ​​if you doubt something.3. Look at everything that surrounds you through the prism: useful/destructive.4. Seek a solution to a conflict problem if the problem is not resolved peacefully.5. Learn to achieve your goal and write a step-by-step plan so that you are not afraid to start something new and finish what you started.6. Set rules, but don't become a dictator.7. Even if you are not enthusiastic about it, start doing something systematically: go to the gym, don’t eat sweets, don’t......8. After lying, realize the secondary benefit. You can get rid of lies by facing the serious consequences of your lies. 9. Start with one day: today I will speak only the truth!10. Believe that life wouldn't be better without you!