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The second specific problem that arises when working with homosexual people is coming out. I wrote about previous non-specific and special issues here https://www.b17.ru/blog/357413/ and here https://www.b17.ru/article/382676/ Disclosing one’s sexuality or identity to significant others is one one of the biggest difficulties. For some, coming out will never happen: the fear of possible rejection and rejection, fear of loss of reputation, fear of ruining one’s career, losing financial stability, etc. is too great. Rejection from loved ones is expressed in threats and manipulation , “treatment”, etc. I know of a case when a mother, who did not accept her son’s orientation, took him to a monastery so that there, “through work and prayer,” he would become “normal.” Parents can kick their children out of home and deprive them of financial support. I’m not even talking about cases of suicide. But in a situation of recognition, it is very important to hear from the mother/father the phrase: “Son/daughter, you are still my son/my daughter, and I love you.” This also happens - and it strengthens trust in the family. Coming out is difficult to imagine in some professions: civil service, education, sports, medicine. Coming out here threatens with dismissal. As for age, it is more difficult for mature people, for whom “everything is sorted out and life has taken place.” Often, men, knowing about their homosexuality, get married, start families and lead a double life, deceiving both themselves and their wife. The need to live a double life, to hide their experiences leads to serious distress: depression, the experience of loneliness, emotional emptiness, a feeling of meaninglessness. Overcoming such pressure and fear requires a lot of strength. And the help of a psychologist, various communities, and resource centers makes coming out easier (if, of course, a person really wants to do it). Why do people come out in general? This makes it possible to live honestly, allows you to get rid of the burden of a “double life” develops self-acceptance (see problem 1 https://www.b17.ru/blog/357413/). Should this step be encouraged in therapy? The decision, of course, must be made by the client himself. Our task is to work through the feelings that arise in the process of self-disclosure: fear of the unknown, helplessness, bitterness, resentment. A feeling of guilt may also arise: loved ones seek to blame him/her for the deterioration of their health due to new information, difficulty interacting with other relatives or colleagues/neighbors. It may sound absurd, but that’s exactly what the parents say. In therapy, we help the client/client to experience and realize these feelings - and simply be in contact with him/her, demonstrating that other forms of relationships with a person outside are possible, too. depending on her sexual orientation. People who have experience being accepted by others tend to talk about their identity much more easily and open up to who they are as an individual..

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