Why is there a desire, but you can’t build real relationships? ‌It would seem that we want to learn to live in love, to have a strong relationship, but instead we do not enter into them at all, each time finding excuses: “not my person,” “it’s not time yet,” “what can I give in this relationship.” Or join, but stop at a time when the moment of responsibility comes. Closeness and love is when all the bouquets and candy have passed, passion has subsided, quarrels have passed, when you can be angry with each other and annoyed, when you have seen the imperfections of each other and the relationship, and when you still consciously choose each other. When you have the ability to separate flies from cutlets. There is an understanding that it is possible to talk through the conflict situation itself and decide that each person is complex and has his own inner world, which means disagreements are inevitable. True intimacy can only be achieved through experience, wisdom and personal resilience. Unfortunately, the institution of family is very poorly developed. It’s good when we learn from our own mistakes and have critical thinking, when we are able to seek help from a therapist and work through what prevents us from building close relationships. Let's look at the reasons why it doesn't work: 1. We don’t know how it is, we haven’t seen a positive example in our parents’ family. 2. There are disorders in our personality structure that interfere with building relationships. For example, the psyche thinks that only strong emotions are about love, it is impossible to breathe without a person - this is love, burning jealousy is again about love, hits - it means love, scandals and passionate sex in the end - well, of course, love... 3. Codependency, clinging to a person, living only his life, excluding your own, sacrifice. Directing energy towards another cannot be true love and cannot be called a healthy relationship. Such people, unfortunately, did not receive basic parental love in childhood, so in any partner they look for a parent capable of loving. They need complete dissolution in these relationships, just as their mothers once had to dissolve in them in early childhood. 4. Counterdependent behavior is another obstacle to intimacy. When, instead of saying “I love you,” I push you away. I’ll push you away so that they don’t push me away. I’d rather protect myself in advance than experience the pain of rejection. Sometimes, the more we are pushed away, the louder the internal cry “I want to be together.” Such people were taught as children to be too strong. These are just some of the reasons that lead to breakdowns in relationships. The good news is that you can learn how to create strong and intimate alliances. The path is not the fastest, not the easiest, but certainly interesting and promising!