From the author: The article was published on our website Napkin Eight In this note, I will not talk about the sacred meanings of our names, about the secrets that may be associated with them. The task is much simpler. Consider, using an example, how one’s own name often influences one’s destiny, or rather, a person’s perception of oneself. As usual, these are just notes that give a small picture, a fragment of the whole. Indeed, the perception of oneself leads a person to a certain behavior, which is expressed outwardly. This means that other people often see him exactly as he presents himself. Perceiving himself as a timid person, he often constantly experiences a feeling of timidity, speaks in an appropriate voice, gestures and posture will also confirm embarrassment or shyness. It’s immediately obvious that this is a timid man. And the reaction of others to this behavior will be appropriate. Someone will rush to reassure, support, someone, on the contrary, will use power, and so on. It is through this mechanism that, it seems to me, the meaning of a name for its bearer often manifests itself. I’ll tell you a little about the perception of the name of one of my clients. All names are fictitious, coincidences are random. She was officially named Olga, in honor of her mother. But, in order to differentiate, further in the family they began to call Lelya. The result is rejection of the adult name. Because Olga is not her name, it is her mother’s name. She allows his presence only on official documents or when addressed by first name and patronymic. And she still doesn’t always understand, if they address her like that, that it’s directed at her. “This is not my name,” complains O. The shortened name, Lelya, is also not quite hers. She responds to him, she is pleased when they call her that. However, this name makes her feel like she is a small child. And she subconsciously expects appropriate behavior from another person. That is, the following thoughts seem to flash through O.’s head: “If you call me by the name Lelya, then you know that this is the name of a little girl, and this is what you should do with little ones.” so and so, to protect them, not to offend them, to love, take care of them and the like.” Hence, often inappropriately timid child behavior, high anxiety, an attempt to solve problems in a childish way - “putting your head under the blanket”, shifting the solution of problems to others. Accordingly, the same behavior is presented externally. This is quite a high load. That is, in fact, O. entered adult life with two names, and at the same time without a name that she could use with dignity. Why is that? The answer is simple. Two names, neither of which belonged to her. The first is official, not hers, but the mother’s. The second is childish - she has already grown out of it. What should a psychotherapist do if he encounters such aversion to proper names? We used the most, as it seemed to us, simple methods of psychotherapy. To work with names, the form of a favorite metaphor and the principles of velvet reframing therapy were used. First, contexts were identified where, who and when are called by one name or another. Then the work was proposed to present both names (one at a time, of course) in the form of images. “Lelya” was presented in the form of an image of a soft ball of soft lilac color. “Olga” - in the form of a lattice structure, like a mast for wires for transmitting electricity. Each image was examined in detail, with many details, in colors. For each image, a name was used - the name that it personified. As usual, a procedure was carried out to respond to the accumulated feelings in relation to each name-image. After this, everything useful and important that each image provides for the client was identified. It was imperative that the client fully accepted and understood the significance of each image. Then a procedure was carried out to combine these two images into one, where one performed in relation to the other the functions that each of them needed. In my example, the image of the name “Olga” helped and defended the image of the name “Lelya”. The image of the name “Lelya” gave femininity and softness to the image of the name “Olga”. And yet both.