It is difficult for an inexperienced person to repel manipulation, so in today’s article we will talk about how not to succumb to provocation and get out of a conflict with dignity. First, you need to recognize the manipulator. What signs distinguish a cunning person from the crowd? He does not understand or does not want to understand obvious things. Even if you have evidence and arguments, he will still stand his ground and claim the opposite. His catchphrase: “So you think I’m wrong?” The cunning man is so confident in himself that he does not want to listen to any other point of view. For him, justice is above all. There is a feeling that this person lives only in truth and does not allow others to violate legal and moral laws. In fact, this is only an appearance. His feigned desire for justice is aimed at those who are unpleasant to him. If you are one of them, the provocateur will not hesitate to reprimand you for being late for work or taking time off, even for a good reason. The manipulator is driven by revenge or the desire to get your position. His main goal is to get you emotional. The manipulator finds your weak points and puts pressure on them, trying to offend and anger. He “feeds” on negative emotions and enjoys your anger. It’s impossible to find contact with him, because his hatred of you is caused by his own experiences and complexes. He spreads unflattering rumors about you. Again, for the purpose of self-satisfaction, the manipulator tells nasty tales about your personal life. Such a provocateur can go beyond gossip and unite the entire team against you. He is driven by a feeling of revenge; most often, the manipulator resorts to such a plan when other provocations have not worked. Three tips on how not to succumb to provocation and get out of the conflict with dignity? Forewarned is forearmed. The provocateur hits only those points that he considers more vulnerable. You too must find this Achilles heel. Study yourself: what phrases of the provocateur anger you, what becomes the last straw. Think about when an argument turns into a scandal and you lash out at your interlocutor. Keep track of the points that the provocateur is pressing on and try not to fall for his tricks next time. “They bark and leave them alone.” As in Krylov’s fable, the manipulator will not be able to continue to use his provocations if you do not pay attention to them. A clever interlocutor is waiting for your excuses, your attention and, most importantly, your emotions. Don't pay attention to what unpleasant people say. After all, he is a member of your team, but nothing more. Don’t explain yourself to him, don’t try to make arguments - they won’t cost anything to the provocateur. Speak confidently and calmly, so the person will understand that it will not be so easy to get you emotional. The situation is in your hands. A manipulator will not rush at a confident person with stable self-esteem. Show that you are in charge here: if dialogue cannot be avoided, conduct it with a slight mockery, do not make excuses, show that you are not afraid of it. If the truth is on your side, then you don’t need to prove anything, especially not to the provocateur. This will be the behavior of a calm, self-confident person. This way, no provocateur will be able to defeat you! With respect to you, psychologist Olga Bychkova!