DESTRUCTIVE COMMUNICATION IN A COUPLE I am currently undergoing training in counseling female-male relationships in normal and pathological conditions. I want to talk about patterns of behavior in couples. For usefulness ❤️We interact with others the way we are used to doing it. That is, the way you have learned is how you act - according to the template, without thinking. A behavior pattern (pattern) is the habit of acting in a certain way in a certain situation. But some couples know how to negotiate, listen to each other, give support = build normal communication. And some are like being on a roller coaster. Why? There are patterns (P.) productive and destructive. Productive Ps manifest themselves in adequate relationships between people, while destructive ones provoke conflicts and prevent a person from realizing himself and being realized in the world. I would like to talk about them in more detail. D behavior in relationships can be secondary (acquired, a consequence of psychological trauma received in previous relationships) OR primary (deeply learned by us in childhood). If it is secondary, it is expressed by a special reaction to specific words, actions , facial expressions, gestures of a partner from a previous relationship, then it is possible to work out this on your own. Then primary P causes problems with acceptance, trust, patience, confidence. In this case, no books or psychological express methods will help. These abilities develop only in relationships. And in this case, you can’t do without the help of a psychologist. DPs lead to betrayal, jealousy, conflicts, mistrust in a couple and other communication problems. The norm is healthy communication, when partners can honestly tell others about their goals, desires, emotions, needs. With DP, there is no healthy communication in the couple, literally at all. It's like having your tonsils removed through your rectum. Instead of directly making your requests, an approach begins through manipulation. Of course, this cannot help but complicate life. I’ll tell you what kind of DPs exist in the next article.